


Kageyama Tobio and Stupid Life Decisions

by Tobiyolowo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Bullying, Caring Senpais, He is a salty tsundere but Tobio doesnt have tsundere radar, He is scared and hurt, He looks out for stupid baby crows, Hurt Kageyama Tobio, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I was so close to naming this fic STUPID, In a way, Kageyama Tobio Angst, Kageyama Tobio Being an Idiot, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, Kind of an alternate piece to Soul, M/M, Masa-san to the rescue, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Multiple, Protective Sugawara Koushi, Reckless Kageyama Tobio, Running Away, Sad Kageyama Tobio, Someone hug blueberry he is a scared stupid child, Stand Alone, Starvation, Suicidal Thoughts, Tokyo Training Camp Arc (Haikyuu), Tsukishima Kei Being an Asshole, can be read separately, ngl if this happened in real life i would strangle Tobio before I cuddle him, potential OOC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 36,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25807873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tobiyolowo/pseuds/Tobiyolowo
Summary: When Tobio feels hurt and decides to leave...Who knew Miyagi was so far from Tokyo?
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kageyama Tobio & Everyone, Kageyama Tobio/Bad Decisions, Kageyma Tobio/Stupidity, they broke up - Relationship
Comments: 361
Kudos: 693





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here we are back again at this bs  
> I felt suddenly inspired

Tobio sniffled for the umpteenth time, silently cursing himself for being such a crybaby but he couldn’t control his tear ducts anymore. The training camp was a horror show and some. After their break up more than a few weeks back, and that fight over the quick attack, Hinata and he had noticeably drifted apart.

Tobio had been trying his hardest to at least mend one bridge and perfect his dropping set, and even managed to do it a few times. The resulting smile he got from the small spiker had sent his poor bruised heart tumbling through the sky. Maybe they were going to be okay now?

But then it arrived, mealtime. Now generally Tobio leaped at the mention of food, he had to maintain his body after all. But here, after the not so good impression of him on the majority of the people present here courtesy of a certain group chat and its certain members, Tobio didn’t feel an inch of the welcome feeling others were proclaiming about.

He was constantly surrounded by them, the people who had watched his weakest points being constantly being poked for them to see and remark on how ‘bad’ of a person he was. How surly his personality was.

How was he supposed to play when he barely felt like a human with dignity in front of them?

The mealtime just accentuated it. Here everyone was, mingling about with each other, making jokes, laughing, and there was him, poor dumbass Tobio without the one person he had previously relied on to help him navigate the social environment. The final blow was the way Tsukishima had looked at him as if he was deriving fun from Tobio’s predicament. That was all it took for him to dump his empty tray on the counter, extricate himself from the food queue and exit the hall filled with laughs.

But that wasn’t the end, oh no. To curb his hunger pangs Tobio had started using the vending machine, relying on milk, coffee, and energy drinks to get him through the day. And that was okay with him, he would just need to compensate for it when he went back home. But the killing blow was, once again, Tsukishima who had oh so kindly decided to inform the entire group chat about how Tobio was so kingly he couldn’t stomach the idea of eating with peasants.

Tobio felt like his heart sank down into an abyss.

Before he could close the group chat, new messages popped up all making various forms of exclamations and saying things he didn’t want to read. The worst thing was that majority of these people were here, right on the other side of the wall.

His chest was going to implode with how strongly it tightened up. Chucking the half-empty carton of milk in a nearby bin, he dashed across the back of the building and towards the other building not used during their training camp.

He couldn’t face them, not after this.

* * *

Standing precariously on the toilet bowl Tobio peered outside from the small slit window, trying to gauge if anyone was still roaming around outside.

It was roughly 11 pm and most everyone headed to the communal halls they’ve been using as sleeping rooms by this time. Yet he wanted to be extra sure in case anyone decided they needed a night stroll after dinner.

Though it appeared that there was no one outside. Nodding to himself, Tobio hopped down from where he was standing, using the side of the stall to balance himself.

He needed to get away from here, get back to his house.

Creeping out of the washroom he had been takin cover in since evening he wondered what he would do if someone caught him. Maybe he can say he had a call to take? Late-night jog? Stepping outside into the secluded dark hallway gave him the creeps but he squashed them down. He had to hurry. Speed-walking towards the staircase he happened to look down from the windows that covered the majority of the wall. The path looked void of any human presence. Nodding with determination Tobio made his way down the steps of the stairs, rushing down the three floors in a matter of minutes.

The sleeping halls were on the other end of the building, near the gymnasiums so he was in the clear. But exercising caution, he quietly made his way out of the window since the doors were locked shut when he tried them, as stealthily as he could. The air outside was chilly with the incoming autumn, and him being in his training gear didn’t help his situation much. But going back to get his jacket and bag was a risky move. He didn’t want to engage with anyone if he could help it.

One moment more and he felt like he could suffocate under the overbearing presence of everyone constantly surrounding him.

Tobio was heading towards the main gates of the school when he noticed the guards sitting and chatting there. He quickly dashed back into the dark, hoping that none of them saw him.

The main exit was blocked so he had to look for an alternative escape route.

While on the outside he kept looking for places with trees near walls or unused gates, inside his head a small voice was trying to inhibit his decisions, screaming about the repercussions that he would face once he returned back to school. And that did scare him. He didn’t want to get expelled or something, but…

But he couldn’t physically make himself spend another minute here. He didn’t want to be hated anymore.

Spotting a tree that looked easy enough to climb that had a branch near enough the wall that he could probably risk a jump, he cemented his resolve.

He was going to escape, no matter what happened.

Checking out his surroundings to ascertain that no one was around, he started climbing the tree, hissing when the rough bark scratched the skin on his palm. So much to maintain his hands for flawless setting.

Once he reached the desired branch, he slowly started inching towards the wall, physically resisting from looking down. The boundary wall had a small coil of barbed wire running through, most likely to stop intruders from busting in and students from escaping like he was. But he wasn’t going to be hindered by such puny measures. Half crouching over the branch precariously, he leaped to the wall, barely managing to catch on the edge and avoiding a straight stab in his hand. He used his feet to push against the wall and carefully pulled his body upon the small edge. Stepping over the barbed fencing, he realized with a feeling of frustration that he hadn’t considered how he was going to get down on the other side.

Just his luck, he heard someone coming over, most probably one of the guards. Stuck in a tight place, he decided it was a now or never situation. He carefully turned around so his back was facing the road outside. Gulping down his fear, he adjusted his grip through the barbed wire and on the bars of the pointy fence, using them to anchor his body low.

When he was hanging as low as he could, he carefully let go of his support and leaped the rest of the way down. He made a hard impact with the ground which sent electricity shooting up his nerves but he resisted making any sounds in case the guard heard him.

Finally free, he breathed out a sigh of relief. Fetching out his phone from his pocket, and thanking his luck that it hadn’t fallen out in all the scuffle, Tobio loaded up the map, the route from Tokyo to his house already downloaded and saved. His wallet barely had any substantial amount and he was going to save it to use later in the day.

He had a lot of walking to do.

* * *

It was early morning when Hinata roused from his slumber with an urge to pee. He groaned in annoyance, grumpily pushing himself out of the warm blanket cocoon he had made for himself. The hall was filled with snores of different decibels, everyone still in deep throes of sleep. He ambled over to the wall where he had left his phone to charge overnight, powering it on. He had to squint his eyes against the expected glare of sharp light, catching the numbers that denoted it was 4:38 in the morning. He still had roughly two hours more to sleep.

Happy with the observation he headed towards the washrooms right outside their assigned hall. It took him roughly five minutes to be in and out. Shivering from the slight chill permeating the area he rushed towards his assigned futon and was going to dive in when he noticed that one futon was lying unused near the wall. He did a headcount of all the people in the room, coming to the conclusion that one person was missing.

Intrigued and a bit curious, he went around the hall.

Kageyama wasn’t there. Confusion colored his face. He knew Kageyama liked to be extra spartan on himself, but waking up at 4 in the morning was a bit absurd for even him. Now that he thought, he didn’t quite remember seeing him yesterday night too, and neither at the mealtime before that, nor before that one... Though maybe it could be because Hinata was being smothered by his new boyfriends, and wow if that didn’t make his brain boil in embarrassment.

Physically shaking his head as if that would fling those thoughts away, he went over to his phone once again. Opening the chatting app he sent a DM to the missing boy, asking where he was. Hinata frowned when he noticed that the message only had one tick, indicating that Kageyama’s phone either didn’t have an internet connection or was switched off.

Huffing he placed his phone down and crawled back to his futon, worry nagging him in the back of the head. But why worry? He reasoned to himself, Kageyama definitely must’ve just gone running outside.

Though as he snuggled back into his blankets slowly the thoughts of the setter were replaced by a certain other setter and captain. He slapped himself once, squishing his blushing face against his palms.

Oh, he was so gone for them.

* * *

Tobio had turned off his internet when he noticed he barely had a 40 percent battery left on his phone. He still had a long way to go and to do that he needed the map.

Jogging alongside the road, he basked in the chilly breeze ruffling his sweaty hair, energizing him to keep going. The sky was turning a deep pink with the arriving dawn. Feeling like he needed a little breather, he took a rest against a tree on the roadside. His feet felt so light yet heavy at the same time, he knew that he had to keep up his tempo because if he faltered he might not be able to continue on. He had passed Ishioka a few minutes back for which he gave himself a pat on the back. All his runs had certainly helped him out.

Now he just needed to cover the roughly 250 something kilometers left, no big deal. Right.

His stomach rumbled from hunger and his throat felt parched yet he had to keep going. He couldn’t afford to spend even one yen if he wanted to get on a bus to reach his destination.

Starting to walk again, he fished his phone out from his pocket and noted with surprise that it was only 5 in the morning. If he kept his pace he should reach his place by tonight. He tapped on the map app, looking through the saved route to ascertain he was going in the right direction. He had decided to follow the route of the train tracks back to Sendai, it was bound to be way less complicated, especially since he couldn’t use live tracking.

Switching his phone off and feeling a little twinge of guilt deep in his chest for causing undue trouble for his sensei, he slowly increased his pace into a light jog. The frequency of cars passing by him was slowly increasing, so he tried to stick as close to the sideline as he could. At least now he didn’t have to worry about hiding from the police like some thief. They would simply assume he was practicing. Nodding to himself, Tobio broke out in a decently paced run, energized from his accomplishment.

In the least, he was getting some good cardio in.

* * *

Breakfast was ending soon and Sugawara had yet to spot Kageyama. He had secured a bunch of apple slices and toasts for the first year before the place closed down till lunch but the younger setter was nowhere to be seen.

After Tsukishima’s message in the group informing them in not so kind words that the first year wasn’t apparently eating well Sugawara had it taken it on himself to keep watch on the other for the remaining mealtimes. He had waited for him yesterday night too, trying to leap at any chance he got to ask the younger why he wasn’t taking care of himself yet succumbed to sleep around 10 pm when his kouhai failed to show up.

While waiting outside the gymnasium with Daichi and Ennoshita he spotted Takeda sensei briskly walking around, frantically calling someone. They shot each other a confused glance before making their way over to their mentor.

“Sensei?” Daichi called out, accidentally startling the bespectacled man, “Ah sorry sensei I didn’t mea- “

Takeda cut Daichi off mid-sentence, turning to them with stress drenching his whole face, “Have you all seen Kageyama?”

Suga felt something growing numb inside him. Clutching the food he held in his hands he lightly shook his head, “No sensei. In fact, I’ve been waiting for him to get his breakfast,”

“What happened sensei? Is something wrong?” Ennoshita questioned, pulling his phone out from his pocket in case someone needed to be called.

Takeda ran a hand through his hair, messing them up even more. He took a couple of deep breaths before speaking, “I can’t find him anywhere. Hinata-kun informed me that when he woke up early in the morning Kageyama wasn’t in his bed, but he assumed he had gone for a run. I checked with the guards, none of them had seen him head out, more so since it isn’t allowed so they would’ve stopped him.”

“Maybe he is somewhere practicing alone? I’ll go check the other building- “

“I already did Daichi-kun,” Takeda informed the captain, stopping him in his tracks, “Coach Ukai is still looking around the other building in case we missed any place but we haven’t found him anywhere yet,”

“His phone is out of range,” Ennoshita piped in, starting to look worried.

“Sensei we will go look around again, maybe he left the school and guards didn’t notice?” Suga said, trying to be hopeful, even though deep down he somehow knew it was futile.

“Yeah, I think so too,” Daichi began, “We all know how bad he is with directions, maybe he got lost in the neighborhood? It is possible that the guards didn’t notice him head out,”

Takeda sighed tiredly, nodding at the three, “It is possible, but please while you look for him keep your phones on, okay? One lost kid is enough for the year,” he conceded with a humorless chuckle.

The three nodded in agreement, “Maybe we should ask the Tokyo schools for help if they can, they know the area better than us right?” Suga suggested, getting various sounds of approval. The teacher bid them farewell, rushing towards the building they were staying in, most probably to search again.

Looking down at the food in his hands Suga could only hope his kouhai was safe.


	2. Tobio Is A Dumbass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobio's body starts to give out; senpais in Tokyo and Miyagi worry for his dumb ass.

It was sometime before noon when Tobio stumbled to the ground, scratching his knees and hands on the loose gravel. He felt like he was going to puke. He winced in pain as his calf and thigh muscles spasmed viciously, punishing him for putting them under such duress. He wiped the sweat dripping down into his eyes with the bottom of his shirt, gasping to catch his breath.

He felt the salty air scratch his parched throat, giving rise to a weird sensation that half made him want to puke and half like he was choking on something. Certainly not something he wanted to feel.

Shielding his eyes against the glare of the sun he tried to look around for any indication of where he was yet failed to find any. He spotted a board in the distance but it was way too far for him to properly make out what was written on it.

Slowly standing up on his feet, Tobio started a slow walk, trying his best to ignore the sensation that signaled his muscles were on the brink of some serious convulsions. He was wondering if he should turn back, regretted ever leaving the training camp. He had thought he would manage to do it but with only some measly amount of money in his pocket and no supplies, it was the stupidest decisions he has ever made. The board slowly became clearer as he closed the distance.

He was some 800 meters away from Hitachi station. Fishing out his phone he turned it on, having changed to flight mode the moment its battery fell below 30 percent.

He had thought of calling his mother if she could come and pick him but then belatedly remembered she was all the way out in Hokkaido, busy with her work. No way she would be able to come and get him. And honestly, he would rather her not hear about this at all.

Struggling to walk he wondered if he should go have a dip in the sea, just to ward off the heat. Suddenly feeling like he had the best idea he had ever had Tobio zoomed and scrolled through the map, noticing that the route that would take him to the beach was just ahead. Decided, he dragged his heavy body through another bout of torturous walking, trying to ignore the feeling of doom eclipsing his mind when he saw that he still had two hundred kilometers left before he reached his destination.

* * *

Oikawa was re-tying his undone shoelace while sitting in Seijoh’s clubroom when his phone went off in multiple successions. Curious, he quickly unlocked it and accessed the messaging app. Not bothering to read the old messages he went down to the most recent one, noticing that it was from Daichi.

Daichi K: If Kageyama happened to contact or call anyone in the last 24 hours please inform us.

That was weird, Tooru thought to himself, quickly typing up a reply.

Me: what hppnd? did tobio chan create some mischief again?

Refreshing-kun: he has been missing, we cant find him anywhere

Refreshing-kun: we cant contact him we have tried everything we couldve

Holy shit, Tooru cursed mentally, replying without much delay.

Me: maybe he got lost in the area he is really bad with directions

Daichi K: we have been looking for him in the area since the morning

Daichi K: even the people around have not seen him

“Oi Shittykawa, what are you doing? We are waiting for you to star- Don’t tell me you got distracted flirting with some new girlfriend!?”

Tooru quickly shook his head, nearly slapping Iwaizumi with the sheer force he used to show him his phone’s screen, “Tobio-chan is missing Iwa-chan!”

Iwaizumi stepped back a little to actually be able to read the screen, nearly missing the yelled information. He took a moment to process it but when it did he nearly screamed in shock, “What the hell are you saying!?”

“Read yourself!”

Taking the phone from the other’s hand Iwaizumi quickly scrolled through the chat, trying to make sense of the sudden events. “What the hell?”

Tooru nodded in agreement, taking his phone back from the ace’s hand.

Tobio was like a thorn in his side, a bratty nuisance, but still, he couldn’t help it, the sense of worry that was worming its way up to his chest.

“Have they contacted the police? What about his parents?” Iwaizumi questioned, in the middle of fishing his own phone out from his bag that was half hanging out of his locker.

Tooru hummed in acknowledgment, starting to type the message but decided against it when he saw the barrage of screaming texts in the chat. He instead called up the vice captain’s phone, only having to wait for two rings before the silver-haired third year picked up the call.

“Ah Refreshing-kun, what happened? Tobio-chan is missing?”

“Hey put it on speaker,” Tooru nodded, quickly changing it to speaker mode while Iwaizumi shut the door to the club room. Both of them sat down on the bench, listening as Karasuno’s vice-captain answered in a tired tone.

“Yeah, apparently no one has seen him since yesterday afternoon. We were scheduled to have individual practices in the evening session so everyone was just divided up into whatever group they preferred. And at dinner too, I was looking for him because Tsukishima had seen Kageyama skipping out on meals for some weird reason,”

“Kageyama skipping out on meals? Isn’t he like a stickler to his perfect diet?” Iwaizumi said, confusion lacing his voice from the absurdity of the situation.

“In the group chat right? I remember reading it yesterday,”

“Yeah,” Suga agreed, continuing on, “So I was waiting for him to ask if he was sick or something but Noya and Tanaka ended up creating a mess in the bathroom and it took a long time to clean it up. And then all the screaming about Hinata and his ah new boyfriends happened and well…”

“Do you think that maybe Tobio-chan..?”

The third-year on the other side of the phone hummed for a bit before making a non-descript sound, “I don’t know to be honest. It could be but that happened like late in the night and there was no sighting of Kageyama-kun before that too. Even all his stuff is still in the room..,” the vice-captain trailed off, his voice sounding subdued.

“Have you guys looked through the security camera footage?” Iwaizumi questioned, getting an “Oh, smart Iwa-chan!” from his companion.

“Yeah,” Suga replied with a heavy sigh, “the last Kageyama appeared in it was him drinking milk by the vending machine in the late afternoon before he suddenly ran away out of the area. Currently, sensei and coach are reporting him as missing to the police,”

“D-do his parents know?”

Tooru was feeling really uneasy with the way the situation’s seriousness kept escalating by the minute.

“We tried, Daichi is still trying to contact his mother right behind me, but they’re not answering,”

“Holy shit...,”

Suga chuckled tiredly, his voice distorting when coming through the speaker, “Holy shit, yeah..,”

Tooru shuffled around on the bench, unable to sit still. “Refreshing-kun, is there anything we could do?” Iwaizumi shot him a surprised look of mock shock before he sobered up, a small smile on his lips.

“Ah, if it won’t be much of an issue,” Suga began, hesitating a bit.

“Yes?”

“Can you guys please go and check if his parents are home? Or maybe someone else?”

Tooru hummed in acknowledgment, quick to agree with the request, “Yeah, sure. I think I’ve his address from the time Iwa-chan and I had to take him home once when that idiot fell sick,”

“Oi!”

“What? He is one though! A volleyball idiot!”

Iwaizumi laughed mockingly, muttering a swift, “Look who is talking,”

“Iwa-chan! We have a missing crow to find! Let's go!”

Suga’s small ‘thank you’ got nearly drowned out in the ruckus Tooru created in his bid to exit the room, “No problem Refreshing-san! Keep us updated!”

* * *

Tobio sighed in relief when he finally got rid of his stuffy shoes and socks. Placing them on the dry sand, he slowly walked towards the waves lapping up at the beachfront, eager to cool himself off.

The wet sand was cool to touch and he relished in the feeling of his feet sinking in the cool mix of water and sand as if it was a weird form of massage. Not caring if his clothes got wet, he thought it would help keep him cool when he restarted his trek back to Miyagi, he went ahead and sat down in the cold seawater. Since it was off-season the beach was deserted, with not one person in sight.

The waves lapped up his chest, sending sprinkles of water on his overheated face. The near chilly temperature was actually feeling good on his tired body, like a fluid cold compress.

That was when his parched throat decided to remind Tobio of its presence in a rough fit of coughs. In a desperate need of some water, he wondered how bad could seawater be anyways?

He got his answer when he nearly puked where he was sitting after a simple taste of the salty water. Coughing, he dragged his drenched body out of the water till only the soles of his feet were touching the water.

Still wheezing slightly from his coughing fit, he adjusted his body on the cold sand, closing his eyes against the salty breeze blowing his way.

Ah such peace, he didn’t quite wish to leave this place.

Tobio didn’t even notice when his tired body gave out, passing out on the beach below the open sky.


	3. Takeda and Ukai worry; Tobio panics

Takeda rubbed his sore eyes roughly, sitting with Ukai and Nekomata in the lounge room designated for teachers. It was nearing 8 pm yet there was no news on Kageyama’s whereabouts. The cops had informed him that they were trying to track his phone and were going to contact nearby stations in the city to be on the lookout for him, but that was the extent of what they could do right now.

Thinking back on the talk he had with the other kids this evening, he was slowly starting to believe that the first year had run away on his own accord. To do what, Takeda had no idea and he sincerely hoped that what he had thought wasn’t what the boy had actually planned. Just in case he had made sure to call up the police station and informed them of the possibility only to get the assurance that no teen boy with such intentions was spotted by the guards on the bridges, but that would keep an eye on those places.

That did little to calm his nerves.

Daichi had kindly let him access the concerned parts of their mish-mash of a group chat and Kiyoko had taken her time to explain the relationship woes Kageyama seemed to have experienced over the past weeks. Yachi had reached out to confide in him about the troubles he seemed to be experiencing with his setting, and a literal fistfight in the gym between Kageyama and Hinata that he wasn’t previously informed about. Sugawara had then brought up the issue of the boy apparently skipping out on meals.

He was already somewhat aware of what the boy’s experience in middle school was like and Takeda was educated enough in child psychology to hazard a decent guess into the kind of negative impacts it could’ve had on him. He had even reached out to Kageyama early on in the term, offering his support but since he seemed to get along well with the team, Takeda had assumed the setter was doing well.

Sighing, he reclined on his chair, stretching his sore arms up in the arm to stretch his tired muscles.

He didn’t have any right over kids from other schools but he needed to educate his own kids on what the difference between good-natured teasing and unintentional bullying was. Especially if the center of the talk was someone who already struggled enough with past experiences of ‘teasing’ and had marked trouble navigating his way through social situations.

Bending over the desk, Takeda rested his forehead on the cool wooden surface, relishing in the slight respite it provided from his headache. He regretted not checking up on his kids last night, too busy planning out the upcoming camps. And now one of his own was gone, no trace in sight.

He flinched slightly when the chair beside his scrapped on the tiled floor, its occupant standing up with a heavy sigh, “I’ll go check up on the kids,”

Takeda started to rise but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

“Rest, you’ve been rushing around the whole day and we still have the night to pass,” Ukai said, gently squeezing the teacher’s shoulder when it seemed he would argue, “I’ll make them go to sleep, stay here,”

Not having the energy to fight, Takeda simply nodded and stayed where he was. Ukai left with a small wave, closing the sliding door behind him. The other senior coach was fast asleep in his chair, most likely tired from the stress of the day.

Sighing tiredly Takeda wondered just how suddenly their happy and hopeful experience had turned into a living nightmare. He could only pray that they found Kageyama safe and sound.

* * *

Tobio was jolted out of his slumber when a strong rush of water went up his mouth and nose, sending him shooting up in weak splutters. Disoriented and feeling really tired, he belatedly noticed that the reason he wasn’t quite able to see so well was that it was already night.

Another strong wave crashed against his body, nearly taking him down with its force. Not wanting to drown, Tobio quickly backed up on the beach, dragging his drenched body out of the cold water only to be subjected to the chilly breeze of the night.

His teeth started chattering as he hurriedly made his way over to where he had dumped his shoes and socks. His skin felt all kinds of itchy and stretched, even stinging a bit in some places. Pulling out his phone and wallet from where he had hidden them inside his shoe, he tried to turn his phone on only to find that it was dead, not even one percent of battery left.

Oh, he was so fucked.

Resisting the urge to cry he quickly shoved his stinging feet in his socks and then quickly wore his shoes. He needed to get back on track. His clothes were positively dripping as he hurried out of the beach and back onto the road.

There was absolutely no one around, his surroundings eerily dark. Feeling scared, he rushed over to the map built on the roadside, trying to ascertain his whereabouts. With barely any illumination from the overhead lamp, Tobio managed to get a rough idea of the path he had to follow and started up in a light jog in that direction.

The sand that had managed to sneak into his shoes and socks was starting to aggravate the sensitive skin on his feet, and he winced slightly from the pain and irritation it caused. Yet he couldn’t stop. He was supposed to be home by now, not sleeping on some random beach like a stupid idiot.

They were all right, he thought with a sinking feeling in his gut, he really was stupid, really really stupid. He hated himself right now. He could’ve been sleeping in a futon if he hadn’t been such an idiot. He would’ve had drinking water and milk if he wasn’t so selfish as Kindaichi and Kunimi rightly called him.

He deserved this.

Rubbing the moisture out from his eyes, and managing to get salt and sand in his eyes, Tobio had to stop beside a wall, unable to handle the pain in his eyes.

He didn’t do anything to stop the sob that tumbled out his lips, neither did he do anything to stop the next one. Struggling to breathe, he leaned against the wall of some random house, rapidly wiping the moisture that clouded his vision.

He needed to get home.

He was scared, but he needed to get home. He wanted to lie on his bed and never get up. He wanted to sleep in his bed, wanted to…

A strong spell of dizziness sent him bracing for support on the wall, his legs shivering as they struggled to support his body. He felt like he was going to die.

He didn’t want to die.

Keeping one hand constantly on the wall he started walking, having to put way too much energy and focus into ensuring his feet worked the way they were supposed to.

* * *

Ukai sat against the wall, half-resting on the folded futon supposed to be used by Kageyama.

Kageyama, who was missing…

After numerous bouts of crying and screaming the kids had finally all managed to fall asleep. Even some kids from the other schools had decided that they were going to come and join Karasuno in their time of need, all sleeping together in the hall.

Kageyama’s parents were yet to get in contact with them and Ukai was seriously not looking forward to that certain exchange. But it gave him an area to hope. To hope that maybe Kageyama had just gone to his parents, that he was safe and sound with them and simply forgot to inform them. And Ukai was ready to forgive him too if that was the case, no repercussions, well aside from a good talking down of what kids shouldn't do; he just wanted the kid to be safe.

If the kid had indeed decided to run away on his own volition as the consensus was around here, Ukai could only pray he at least had a plan in his head. The kids from Seijoh had stayed around Kageyama’s house till eight in the night, waiting for the first year to pop up out of thin air.

But nothing happened. The house was empty and none of its supposed occupants appeared to be arriving anytime soon. The kids had told them that they would go over the next day too, sounding tired but hopeful.

Looking at the sleeping faces around him, Ukai’s eyes stopped at a certain first-year who had decided to take all the blame on himself. Usually, Hinata was the happiest of the bunch, bouncing around, making everyone feel nice just by his sheer presence in their vicinity. But now…Ukai had never seen him as distraught, not even when they lost the nationals.

The kid had spent the majority of the day either crying or sitting silently in a secluded area. He had even ended up picking a big fight with Tsukishima over some comments the other kid made, which nearly resulted in a brawl if not for the third-years stepping in on time. Ukai was at the police station at that time with Takeda and Coach Nekomata so he wasn’t aware of the exact details of what had transpired.

But the tangerine had refused to eat, and even tried to leave the school grounds on multiple occasions to try and find Kageyama on his own. In the end, the captain from Nekoma, who had already done a few rounds around the city with Daichi, and Nishinoya were appointed for Hinata watch duty, to prevent him from escaping away.

From the meeting Takeda had held with the third years to ask about any internal conflict within the team Ukai managed to get a decent idea of just why Hinata was blaming himself so much. He had tried to correct him because it simply was not his, or anyone’s fault. Yet the first year refused to listen.

Ukai had to call his mother when he refused to sleep too, claiming he was going to stay up till Kageyama was found. They had talked for roughly an hour before Hinata had handed over the phone to Ukai, the call already disconnected. After that he was a bit more agreeable, drinking the warm milk (he started crying again when he saw the milk, making the poor third-year panic) Asahi brought for him and not fighting anymore when asked to lay down and sleep.

Sighing softly, he pushed himself up from the floor to leave the room and update Takeda on the current status of the kids. Though before leaving he remembered to do a proper headcount, assuring no other kid of theirs was missing.

If only he had done this yesterday, then maybe they could’ve avoided what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3 any guesses what happens next?


	4. Tanaka ruminates

Tobio gasped for air, stumbling through the cold night on the desolate road. It was roughly two in the night, according to one of the clocks he had passed by a few minutes? Hours ago? He didn’t have any idea. His head was feeling really heavy and he barely had any thought left in his head.

He just knew that he had to keep walking.

Where? He didn’t care. He just had to keep walking, that was all he cared about.

Shivering when cold air whizzed past him, his damp clothes doing him no favors, he kept on walking alongside the road.

But life wasn’t so kind of bad people like him, he thought with a misplaced sense of amusement when a car rolled to a slow crawl beside him. He tried his best to ignore the vehicle, walking on the other side of the collision barrier and keeping his sight resolutely straight ahead.

The car’s windows rolled down, the strong sound of the music making him flinch with how loud it was.

“Oi kid! What are you doing out here, eh? Out for a night stroll?” the lady in the driver’s seat yelled, sounding inebriated, certainly not a state she should be driving around in. Tobio ignored her, aware that engaging with them would only lead to bad consequences.

“Hey!” this time it was a guy’s voice, “You ignoring us?? We are just doing you a favor! Come on, jump in! We will drop you off, won’t we?” Loud yells and laughs accented his words, the people in the car incessantly calling out to him in loud drunken yells.

He shot a look towards them, noticing that there were six people squeezed inside the vehicle, all looking drunk out of their wits. This was certainly bad news, he thought to himself, creating more distance between himself and the car.

“Disrespectful brat!” one of the ladies slurred out before Tobio heard a door swing open. A strike of deep, feral fear went down his spine. His heartbeat picked up exponentially and he immediately broke out into a run, barely avoiding the long-nailed hand aiming for his arm. The lady screamed behind him, the sound of uncoordinated but quick steps signaling that she was giving chase. He urged his already spent body to give more, to increase his speed. But it was futile. Barely one minute in and his lungs felt like they were going to burst open.

He could still hear the car driving alongside him, the people inside screaming in what sounded muddled gibberish to his ears. Tobio felt scared out of his wits, unable to make sense of what was happening, and what was going to happen. Those people were yelling loudly; he didn’t know what they wanted from him.

“Agh useless! Come on guys let’s go! He’s just a useless fucking bitch!”

“What a waste, seriously!”

He continued stumbling through the overgrown grass and rocks in his way, uncaring of the words they were throwing his way. He just needed to escape and it looked like those people apparently got bored of him.

Or that’s what it seemed like before something came and hit him in the back, between his shoulders, drenching his damp shirt again. The unexpected impact made him lose his balance, causing him to trip over a rock and fall to the ground in a bad tumble.

“Since we’re so nice have a gift from us!”

Tobio stayed on the ground, thanking whatever was up there when the car finally drove away. He slowly raised himself up on his knees, looking around for what hit him before his eyes fell on the empty bottle of alcohol lying in the grass.

He could already feel the bruise starting to form back there, with the way small tingles of pain started radiating from his back and out into his shoulders and arms. But he had no time to spend on measly stuff he could take care of once he reached his home… he had to keep on walking.

The young setter slowly began his trek again, trying not to pull his hurting muscles too much after having put them to test once again.

He needed to get home.

* * *

Tanaka crawled out of his futon when all attempts at getting a restful sleep resulted in nothing. Unplugging his phone from where it was charging near the wall he quietly stood up and walked out of the sleeping hall, being mindful of all the limbs strewn about in his way.

It was nearly five in the morning, the birds outside already making chaos with their morning calls.

Not wanting to accidentally cause a scare for everyone he sat down on the steps outside the building, making sure that he was visible to anyone who might pass by the hall.

The sky was still dark but a tinge of blue was slowly bleeding into the darkness. He couldn’t help but wonder if Kageyama was out somewhere, alone and cold… There were so many possibilities of what could go wrong in a variety of ways and he kind of regretted watching so many of his sister’s mystery movies.

His sister…

Quickly unlocking his phone Tanaka shot a message to his sister: ‘nee san you free’. Maybe if she could try and drive…maybe she might find him.

Once the text was sent, he resumed watching the sky, desperately trying to ignore the intrusive and not so good thoughts that kept clouding his head. They were supposed to head home today after a successful training camp, but now one of his stupid kouhais was out there probably getting kidnapped or worse.

Kageyama was…weird. A nice weird though, Tanaka mused. He was so painfully awkward at times it was kind of endearing in its own way. If he had paid more attention to him, helped him when he needed, maybe he wouldn’t have felt so desperate that he got up, and simply ran away.

Sighing at his own helplessness, he adjusted his body so he was able to lean his head against the pillar beside him. He should’ve talked with them, with Hinata and Kageyama when they went crazy last month instead of punching (he still has to properly apologize, he thought with a wince) them and sending them running back home.

Now that he thought about it, whenever they seemed to hang out outside of volleyball, Kageyama mostly, if not always, seemed to be absent. He had listened to Hinata telling him stories about the multiple times he and the first-year setter went out, and when they ‘went out’ went out, which was certainly an expected yet unexpected development. Expected because even though they were so different they seemed to just click together yet unexpected because Tanaka had thought they would take at least half of their high school lives to come to that point, with the way Kageyama was so emotionally constipated while Hinata was often way too keyed up to recognize the smaller and underlying details of a situation.

Tanaka did kind of expect the inevitable break up. He had been there for it, had seen the two come to blows, had intervened in a not so mature manner.

The next day he and Noya had dragged a sulky Hinata to a local buffet to eat out his break-up blues. But now he couldn’t help but wonder if the other member of this relationship had someone to help him through his own blues. The setter had disappeared for two days, not even engaging on their group chat before he returned back to practice as if nothing had happened, aside from his refusal to set any balls to the middle blocker. That was something that hadn’t settled well with Tanaka, especially with the inter-high inching closer every day. And neither with some other _people_ who made their feelings pretty clear regarding the setter’s ‘kingly’ tendencies; only backing down when the coach spoke up in favor of Kageyama’s decision.

Re-adjusting himself when he felt his leg falling asleep, Tanaka thought back to the information Ennoshita had given him when they were out scouring the neighborhood with the third years later in the day.

Their group chat, the one that was supposed to help them plan practices and bond (but got infiltrated by other schools’ teams, somehow), was one of the potential reasons why Kageyama ran away. When he had questioned him why, the other second-year had simply replied,

“Bullying.”

That had made him sputter in the sheer unexpectedness of it. Tanaka had assumed it was due to the ‘relationship troubles’ Kageyama was experiencing, or even due to his inability to get that certain set down. But never this. Tanaka himself was in that group chat, an active participant even but bullying, he would’ve known if one his kouhais was being treated like that!

But apparently not.

Ennoshita had proceeded to sit down with him on a roadside bench and went through the chat, showing him all the messages Suga had previously shown the second year.

And there were a lot.

And some of them were when he was actively participating in the conversation, joining the others in ‘teasing’ the setter.

He had positively felt like the shittiest piece of scum to exist when Ennoshita continued scrolling and pointing out just how different their ‘fun’ seemed when approached with the perspective of someone who felt like he was being continuously targeted, being belittled again and again.

They were never-ending.

And as they had approached the most recent ones Tanaka couldn’t help but think that it was no wonder the setter had escaped the moment he got the opportunity, who would indeed want to stay? He had initially wanted to confront those two brats from Aoba and their captain, demand explanation from Tsukkishima, ask everyone why all of them just seemed to gang up on Kageyama, why weren’t they stopped..? Why wasn’t he stopped? From the messages, he knew that Suga had often butted in to derail them, even the often inactive Asahi had spoken up when the ‘teasing’ had been going for so excruciatingly long, yet why didn’t they just tell them off? Be clear?

But then he realized, who was he to demand answers from others when he had an equal part in this? He was no better than them. And Ennoshita had made it clear that Tanaka wasn’t supposed to share this with anyone else, at least not till Kageyama was found; Takeda-sensei will talk to everyone himself.

“But then, why did you tell me?” he remembered having asked the other player, clearing his throat to get rid of the heaviness lodged in there.

Ennoshita had sat there quietly for a few moments, seemingly searching for the answer himself.

“Honestly?” he began softly, “I don’t know. I just, I guess I just wanted you to know.”

“Oh…”

“Hmm.”

The sky was a light navy blue by the time Tanaka decided to go get some coffee. Quickly fetching his wallet from his bag in the sleeping hall, he strolled to the side of the building where the vending machine was located. While pulling out the required money he decided to take some back to their mentors too. He knew that they had planned to stay awake the whole night so they wouldn’t miss any updates; they had to be positively tired out of their brains by now.

Making a quick work of the process the second year soon walking his way back into the building with the hot cans of coffee snuggled in his jacket’s pockets.

Making his way through the chilly halls he peeked inside all the rooms he came across, not exactly able to remember which room they had turned into a makeshift meeting room. After passing roughly six rooms he finally found the one he was searching for, recognizing their coach’s silhouette as he sat half-leaning outside the window. Gazing through the small window on the door he spotted Takeda sensei half resting on a table, seemingly fast asleep.

“Oi kid, what are you doing out here?”

The sudden voice scared the crap out of him. Turning quickly he came face to face with Nekoma’s coach.

“Ah- I- coffee, sir?”

* * *

Tobio couldn’t feel his legs anymore.

Sitting on the side of the road he could only stare at his limbs as they shook viciously. He had pulled a muscle in his thigh some minutes ago, from his rough approximation, and the pain was nowhere near going away.

It only seemed to get worse.

His head was throbbing, his brain felt like it was going to boil down into mush any moment now.

It wasn’t even like he could just go and beg for some help from some kind old lady because as is characteristic of his shitty luck he was stranded on some desolate highway with not even a shop in sight. He had tried to wave down a few cars but none even slowed down.

Resting his head against the wide part of the collision barrier he wondered if this was it.

The end of his life.

But…

He didn’t want to die.

* * *

The whole of Karasuno was piled up on the bus, most of them reluctant but knowing better than to voice their complaints too much when their mentors were already so stressed. As impossible as it seemed, there was pin-drop silence in the vehicle.

Takeda-sensei was working out the details with the coaches based in Tokyo, bowing profusely in gratitude. On the other hand, Ukai-san was discussing the route with the driver they had hired for the journey because none of the two adults were in a position to drive safely.

In the end, there had been no news by the police, Kageyama’s parents were still out of reach, and the Karasuno school authorities were constantly bearing down on their teacher. From what Kiyoko had overheard it was possible that the school was going to suspend Takeda-sensei and Kageyama temporarily.

Sitting quietly beside a fidgeting Yachi she couldn’t help but let her gaze travel over the other members of their club.

Daichi was sitting with Asahi, somberly staring out of the window, lost in thought. The other senior was busy fidgeting uncomfortably in his seat much like the first-year manager beside her, constantly turning his phone on and off. Nishinoya was much the same but his ‘object’ of interest was Narita’s fingers who simply let the libero do what he desired, busy reading something on phone. Tanaka was sitting alone, typing furiously on his phone, unaware of his surroundings, including the pointed and confused looks Ennoshita was shooting him from where he was sitting behind the second year with an equally curious Kinoshita.

Though the ones that caught her attention the most were the two pairs sitting near the back. Yamaguchi’s eyes were so swollen Kiyoko would still make out the painful rawness from where she was sitting near the front of the busy. Beside him Tsukkishima was half leaning over the other first-year, his headphones secured on his head, and a heat pack held against his stomach. Apparently he had developed a bad stomach ache yesterday night, from what Ennoshita that had told her.

Right in front of the two best friends were Sugawara and Hinata, the first year resolutely holding onto Kageyama’s bag, refusing to even out it down beside him.

In a nutshell, they were a mess.

“Um, s-senpai?”

Facing the girl sitting with her she gestured silently for her to continue. With the way she was looking around, it was obvious that she was nervous. Gently prying one of her hands from where she was fisting the hem of her jacket Kiyoko tried her best to help the other girl relax a bit, unaware of the way Yachi near lost her head at the unexpectedly sweet gesture.

“I-um, do you think that- no-I-,”

“Breathe,” Kiyoko advised her softly, smiling encouragingly when the young manager did so.

“I’m worried, I- where is Kageyama-kun? No, that’s stupid- I just-,”

“I know, it’s okay. You’re worried for him, hm?”

The blonde-haired girl nodded, using her other hand to wipe away the involuntary tears that sprung up in her eyes.

“I just- I can’t do anything and-and I feel so- so- useless, I-,”

“I understand,” she replied, patting her hand, “I feel the same.”

“I hope that he is- is okay,”

“So do I,”

_‘Even though it's futile.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sleepy i cant proofread ;u;


	5. So Tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: references to suicidal ideation

He didn’t know how long he was stranded by the roadside.

The sun was high up in the sky, relentlessly beating down on him, so it was roughly afternoon by now.

He had tried dragging himself ahead, crawling, desperate to cover any amount of distance he could but that only aggravated his battered body more. His stomach was hurting so bad he didn’t know what to do other than gritting his teeth and bearing through the pain. The coughing fits caused by the dry air rubbing on the back of his parched throat only worsened the situation.

He was so tired. So so tired.

Shaking his head lightly in order to orient himself, he painstakingly began to crawl forward, forcing his body to keep on moving no matter what.

He had to, he had no other choice.

Tobio had never felt so helpless before- ‘no’, he admonished himself, he had. He could starkly remember the time of his grandfather’s death.

He was there when slowly and insidiously time took away his grandfather, one breath at a time. Nothing anyone tried helped; Tobio was just standing as a spectator, so useless, so aimless, watching as the man who introduced his life’s passion to him withered away into nothingness. And this?

This was nothing. Nothing in comparison.

He just had to keep on going ahead.

That was a simple thing even for a person as stupid as him. He wasn’t a failure, he was not.

He had to do it, he had to prove it.

One hand forward, followed by one knee.

Then the other hand, and the other knee.

Simple enough, it was so simple.

So why?

Why was he having so much trouble? Why couldn’t he just do it?

Why?

* * *

Akaashi was mindlessly setting a ball in the air when Kenma silently approached and sat down beside him. The other boy was actually devoid of his gaming console, Akaashi noted with surprise. Pausing his movements, he caught the ball in his hands and sat down facing the other setter.

“Kenma-kun?”

The pudding haired boy shuffled with his jacket, looking thoroughly uncomfortable. Surriptously looking around, as if to assure himself that a certain blocker wasn’t anywhere nearby. Akaashi could only wait expectantly while the other boy made an attempt at relaxing himself enough to open his mouth.

“You know the uh Karasuno’s setter leaving…thing..?”

“Kageyama-san, yes?”

“Yeah…”

Akaashi sat silent, allowing the other setter time to continue at his own pace.

“I- Do you think that maybe..?”

“Hmm?”

“You know, with Kuroo, me and well, Hinata?”

“Are you trying to say that because you, Kuroo-san, and Hinata-san got together, Kageyama-san might’ve?”

The other boy nodded lightly, toying with his shoelaces. Akaashi watched him for a bit, noting how unnaturally strained his shoulders were.

“Would you like to know my honest opinion Kenma-kun?”

Another nod, but this time a bit stiffer than the last time.

Soundlessly taking a deep breath Akaashi began speaking in a level tone, keeping his eyes on the short setter to watch out for any signs of distress, “It is possible,”

Kenma drew in a sharp breath, resolutely looking away from his fellow second-year.

“But,” Akaashi continued on, “I don’t think it was the only reason. Kageyama-san doesn’t seem like the person to, you know, take such drastic measures for something like possible jealousy.”

“But you don’t know him…” came Kenma’s low-voiced yet resounding reply.

Akaashi nodded in agreement, “I don’t, yes, yet I feel that he won’t.”

“Why?” The reply was short and coming from another person might’ve sounded rude, but Akaashi knew that this was Kenma genuinely trying to understand his reasoning, though sadly, Akaashi didn’t believe his answer would be able to appease the other.

“Call it my people’s instinct if you will. It’s just the way he is so serious on the court, I mean, it’s hard to imagine someone as decisive as he would do something so risky like this.”

“I- I guess…”

“Is there something else bothering you Kenma? You know that it’s better to let it out than let it affect your health, right?”

“I just…I don’t want to think like this, I feel bad, but…”

“If you don’t feel comfortable talking about it with me, it’s okay, okay? But just know that whatever it is, I won’t judge you, ever.”

The shorter boy shuffled around where he was sitting, turning slowly in his seat till he was directly facing Akaashi. “I- You’re in that teams group chat right?”

Akaashi nodded in agreement, “Yes, though I don’t necessarily open it much.”

“Hm, so you know there are people, and well they talk?” instantly a grimace overcame Kenma’s face, “That was stupid.”

Akaashi only hummed, suppressing his smile so he won’t accidentally dissuade the other from continuing; it was obvious that he was having a hard time gathering his words.

“They say that he still likes Hinata and-and that he didn’t behave well with him.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, and his senpai also said the same, that he doesn’t know when to,”

“Let go?”

“Yeah.” Licking his dry lips, Kenma continued on in a small voice, “I- I think maybe he...ugh, I don’t want to,”

“It something that is visibly bothering you Kenma, is it that bad?”

“I just- I think that he ran away to blackmail Hina-!” Slapping a hand on his mouth Kenma immediately turned away, unwilling to see what reaction his ‘theory’ resulted in.

Before Akaashi could’ve responded another voice speared through the heavy silence that had followed Kenma’s proclamation, “What!?”

Both the setters immediately looked towards the door of the gym where a certain Nekoma’s captain was standing with snacks in his hand, looking as stupefied as ever.

* * *

He was tired.

He was so tired.

He didn’t want to die.

But he wished he could.

* * *

Miwa had just entered her dorm room when her phone vibrated in her pocket, signaling an incoming call. Placing her bag on her multi-purpose table, she pulled the device out, and immediately accepted the call when she noticed it was her father.

He didn’t call her much aside from their occasional monthly meetups, so this was a bit of an unusual scenario.

“Hi papa, wh-,”

“Is Tobio with you?”

“What?” Wasn’t Tobio in Miyagi? Did her dad forget her holiday timings?

“What? No? I’m at my dorm right now?”

“I’m aware of that Mi-“

“Then why would Tobio be here papa? Isn’t he back at home in Miyagi?”

“No, Tobio, he was in Tokyo for some camp or something and-“

Feeling uneasy with the way her father’s voice wavered over the call, Miwa couldn’t help but think something was wrong. The last time she had heard him talk like this was when their grandfather had passed away and Tobio was alone at home with him.

“Papa, what happened? Is that idiot okay? Is something wrong?”

“I- he is gone Miwa-“

Gone..? What?

Gone as in- “What are you saying!? You’re scaring me! What happened to Tobio!?”

Furiously rubbing her teary eyes, she rushed over to her cupboard, throwing it open and pulling out her luggage bag.

“I don’t- He is missing Miwa, his teacher said he ran away from the camp, they can’t find him anywhere!”

She could hear her father breathing heavily on the other side of the call but couldn’t make herself speak anything from the wave of sheer relief that passed over her mind.

Missing, her brother was missing, there was a chance. He wasn’t dead.

He was out there, somewhere, she could still find him.

He wasn’t gone. He wasn’t unreachable.

She just had to reach him before he reached somewhere he couldn’t return back from.

“You- you scared me! I thought that he was-!” An unprecedented sob ate up the rest of her words. Stumbling down to sit down right there on the floor, chest heaving from the sheer force of her cries, she didn’t know what to think or feel; happy, scared, worried, or hopeful.

“He will be okay, hm? He will be, he has to be.” Came her father’s voice, which sounded more like he was assuring himself than her. “The police are looking for him, we will okay? Try to calm down, Miwa, you’ll hurt your throat. Drink some water, it will help.”

“T-Tobi-“

“We will find him, okay? Come on, water, now.”

Following her father’s guidance, she picked up a bottle lying on her bedside table, more empty than full but she didn’t have the capacity to get up and make the trek to her little kitchenette.

“Slow sips,”

“I- I know,”

The man laughed lightly in response, waiting patiently for his daughter.

“Does m-mom know yet?”

“Yeah, she was the one who got the information first.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah,” he replied after a beat of silence, “She will leave for Miyagi tonight, I’m on my way there right now,”

Miwa was stumped for a few seconds, slowly processing his reply before it finally registered, “Ha-! What about me!? We could’ve gone together!?”

“Miw-,”

“What!?”

“Stay there, hav-“

“Papa are you serious? Tobi-“

“Would you let me speak for a second here!?” came the angry reply, followed by a heavy sigh, “Stay there in case he comes looking for you, do you understand? He was in Tokyo, you’re the only one he knows who is there, so stay, okay?”

“But-!”

“No buts Miwa. What if he comes there only to find you aren’t present?”

“I- ugh!”

Gritting her teeth in frustration she mumbled a quiet ‘fine’ before disconnecting the call without waiting for any response.

Her idiot brother was lost, somewhere out in the big bad world with no food or money and all she could do was sit in her comfortable living space, being a waste of space. Kicking angrily at her empty luggage bag, she let her body fall flat on the floor, staring listlessly at the ceiling.

What a huge fucking waste of space.

* * *

The sunset looked so pretty.

Or so Tobio hoped he could’ve felt. Right now, it only felt like a sign of his doom inching closer every second.

He couldn’t move anymore, he didn’t even feel like he was breathing at all. His chest hurt, his head hurt; everything hurt and nothing was going to make it go away.

He was stuck, he was going to die, and that was it.

Half of his mind was urging him to simply step on the road in front of an oncoming truck, end it sooner rather than later. But the other half was resolutely stuck on the idea of hope, that he would be saved, he will be okay and right now he was more inclined to follow through with the first half than prolong the inevitable.

Yet when the time came to take that step…he couldn’t. Because he didn’t want to die, he felt like he had to, there was no other option, but he didn’t want to.

Lying sideways, half on the warm asphalt and half on the loose gravel, he wondered how long it would take before his body started eating itself. He did pay attention in class, somewhat.

The cold breezy was starting up again as temperatures fell with the incoming night, his shorts and light tee offering no reprieve from the unforgivable weather. Maybe he will freeze and ..? Ha, they always said he was a cold-hearted king, now he was going to really freeze and- oh he wanted to laugh so bad. Where was his funny side when he had wanted to talk with his classmates on the first day of school? And now no one will know how funny he was, what a shame.

Curling up his body, Tobio tried his best to stay as warm as he could, no matter how useless his attempts were.

He wanted to go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it wasn't obvious i feel literal brain pain when describing things- or more like utilize my lacking ability to describe the things in my head.  
> I would be imagining it all intense and it would sometimes come out looking like lukewarm milk
> 
> I don't have any idea what to do next hohoho end the suffering for now?


	6. Masa-san to the rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Masaki is from Tsurune lol

It was a nice breezy night, though a bit chilly, yet perfect for driving by the seaside. So here Masaki was, having a good time singing along to his favorite songs when suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, a kid popped up jerkily on the roadside, in the peripheral of the light shining through his car’s headlights, and proceeded to fall back down.

Masaki was so surprised he forgot to push the brake and nearly ended up sending himself and his car crashing onto the other side of the road. Quickly gathering his bearings, he braked his car to stop. The seat belt took a few seconds to unlatch from where it was buckled in due to his fumbling but barely a minute and he was dashing out to check on whoever was unfortunate enough to be stuck on the highway on such a cold night.

In retrospect, he should’ve stayed in his car and drove it over to the person’s side, rather than potentially risk himself getting mugged in the dead of the night with no chance of help coming his way. Yet working with high schoolers on a daily basis had made him somewhat of an impulsive idiot anyways, maybe he should not hang out with them as much as he does at the shrine. Seeing a kid in jeopardy and leaving them be? That really didn’t sit well with him.

“Hey! Are you okay!?”

A faint groan greeted his ears in reply and that was all cue he needed to break out into caretaker mode. Dealing with a gaggle of adventurous kids who shoot arrows for a hobby has really made him adept at first aid.

Getting down on his knees, he mentally cursed himself for not parking his car the other way around so at least he could use the headlight as a way to see what exactly he was doing. The lights on the highway weren’t exactly providing stellar quality illumination. Masaki fumbled around for his phone only to belatedly realize it was still charging inside his car.

“Ah heck.”

When he was carefully reaching towards the silhouette of the boy a slew of nauseating smells hit him at once. Reeling back from the sudden shock, he fumbled around in his pocket for his daily use mask, “Kid? How long have you been out here? You drunk?” he asked, his voice muffling a bit mid-way when he strapped on the black cloth to cover his nose and mouth. The smell of alcohol mixing in with other bodily fluids was something he never wanted to smell again.

There was only a rough groan from the subject of his questions.

“Okay, I’m going to get you out of here, into my car, and then we will go to a hospital okay? I understand if you don’t want to trust me, that’s okay, but I just want to help.”

Shuffling closer to the prone body, not minding the stones pinching his knees Masaki tried to take in as much of the visual information he could in the bleak light, which was not much.

“I’m going to touch you now if you’re injured anywhere please tell me,”

No reply came.

Concluding that the boy must’ve passed out, the older man carefully touched the other’s shoulder, registering the hot to touch skin even through the light fabric.

“Heck, please don’t die on me.” He muttered half-jokingly, the gravity of the situation and what he was doing slowly but surely entering his brain.

Adjusting one hand under the younger’s knees and the other supporting this shoulders, he slowly pulled him onto the road before picking him up, relying on his leg muscles to take the brunt of the exertion. Doing kyuudou for nearly all his life had certainly made his body strong, he noted a bit amusedly, because the kid certainly wasn’t as light as his lean frame suggested.

When the boy was secured against his torso and he didn’t fear that he would dislocate his own spine due to the unanticipated grunt work Masaki carefully walked over to his car, thanking the deities above for his car still being there and not getting stolen, standing unattended on the empty highway.

As he neared his vehicle, the light slowly fell on the parcel in his arms, who was wearing, what it looked to Masaki, some sports uniform. And boy was he dirty. With the way he looked Masaki could roughly guess that he had been out an about for at least a couple days at the minimum.

A kid in his school uniform, smelling like alcohol and piss, lying by the highway in the middle of practically nowhere with only mountains and the sea to keep him company? Surely didn’t look suspicious. And now Masaki had ended up involving himself in what could be a failed kidnapping or killing. Maybe the perps were still around.

Not wanting to risk anything, and suddenly feeling spooked by the sheer lack of anything on the empty stretch of the road, he increased his pace.

He really didn’t want to get murdered.

Given that both his hands were busy and he wasn’t so talented as to open the car’s door with his foot (though his cryptid ass brother, for some reason, certainly could), he placed the boy in the front seat, jumping when something clattered onto the road.

He looked down, a bit spooked, only to find a phone, probably the boy’s. A wallet was half hanging out of his pocket, nearly facing the same fate as the phone if not for Masaki’s quick reflexes. He picked the phone up, trying it once to see if it, by any miracle, had any power left. But as was expected, it was completely dead. Next, he opened the wallet, mentally apologizing to the kid, hoping to find an ID of any sort.

Kageyama Tobio

Karasuno High School

‘Miyagi, Sendai..? Holy heck is that far!’

“What the heck are you doing all the way here?” he mumbled, closing the wallet and placing it on the dashboard to check for any contact number after they were safely off the eerie highway. Making a quick work of things, Masaki opened the back door, pulled out a blanket he had in the trunk of his car for emergencies, burrito wrapped the kid, stowed him away on the back seat, and belted him up so he won’t roll off.

Perfect.

Happy with his work, he jumped into the driver’s seat, closed and locked the doors. Finally heaving a sigh of relief, he let himself relax a bit so he would be able to drive well and not get rear-ended like the last time. He didn’t want those kids to end up really binding him to a chair or something so they could make sure he stayed alive.

On another note, maybe he shouldn’t mention about him playing rescuer to them, ever. Seiya will rake his dead body over burning coals if he accidentally made Minato cry again. Ahh, kids, such terrifying creatures.

Detaching his phone from the charging cord, he unlocked it and searched for the nearest hospital on the map, changing his destination. In the meanwhile, he connected the kid’s dead, but hopefully still functioning, phone to the charger.

Making sure that the other was safely tucked away, Masaki finally started up the engine, gently easing the vehicle from a stationary position into motion.

He had a kid to save.

* * *

Kurooko: okay crazy mad theory

Matson: aint everything you say crazy and mad

Kurooko: hey!

Iwaizoomie: can we pls make appropriate decisions for once in this hellscape

Catma: kuroo. No.

Kurooko: u cant say that it aint possible

Yahababa: is this another one of your mem origin tales? If yes please spare my dwindling brain celss

BigMakki: Mem

Yahababa: shut up

Catma: seriously kuroo shut. Up. Not here

Leeev: oho? Is this some scandalous spill

Kurooko: open discourse? I mean it mite help in giving ideas

Yakkun: its like 2 am pls go to sleep

Leeev: you can always put your phone on mute jii san :3

Yakkun: tmrw morning sharp 7 am you and me

Leeev: my lord have mercy ;w;

Yakkun: denied

Kurooko: okay so there was an epifanny

Yakkun: *face palm*

Yakkun: don’t use big words you it ll hurt your brain

Kurooko: rude bt ill ignore it

Kurooko: for now

BigMakki: lmao

Bokunopico: oya are we playing insult kuroo game

Bokunopico: dibs!

Kurooko: no bobro let me enliten you

Leeev: @Yakkun - *face palm*

Kurooko: so there was this idea that maybe

Catma: kuroo stop

Kurooko: little setter-kun could ve maybe

Iwaizoomie: I hope its not some bullshit because I swear

Kurooko: he got jealous and left to idk get tangerine’s attention?

Iwaizoomie: wtf

Matson: ehy hey hey I really don’t think this is the time to

Iwaizoomie: are you fucking serious rn

Catma: I told you to stop

Kurooko: open discourse its possible

Bokunopico: bro that s a bit far fetched

Kurooko: I mean you all kno the shit fest their ‘relationship’ was

Kurooko: I just dont want tangerine to get hurt later

Iwaizoomie: I cant believe i

Iwaizoomie: how dare you imply that kageyama would do smthing like that

BigMakki: yeah man the kid is still out there

Kurooko: it s not like you guys kno him any better than us

Kurooko: tangerine told us the dude took online advice real serious for their dates

Kurooko: so why wont he just ya know take it this time too

Owokawa: let me be clear

Owokawa: you are saying that tobio chan

Owokawa: total dumbass tobio chan would run away to

Owokawa: what? Blackmail chibi chan?

Catma: seriously I said stop

Catma: don’t

Owokawa: that he would give up volleyball to scheme against his old flame?

Owokawa: you really think that?

Kurooko: didnt he obsess over you for the longest time

Kurooko: whos to say he wont do this if he read on some blog how to get your ex back

Owokawa: that s a totally different thing wtf

OnionRings: I mean he has always been self centered and gullible

Owokawa: Kin chan I hope you consider your words again

OnionRings: im just saying what I feel

OnionRings: ha has always been posesive

OnionRings: a bit creepy tbh

BigMakki: guys I don’t think this is okay

Yakkun: all of you. Go the fuck to sleep.

Matson: finally

Matson: a voice of reason

Yakkun: your brains aren’t working

Yakkun: esp you @Kurooko

Catma: I’m sorry

Kurooko: yeh I said what I wanted to

Iwaizoomie: and you will eat your fkin words

Yakkun: SLEEP.

Yakkun: NOW.

.

.

Daichi: what the actual hell

Daichi: you know what? Fuck you

Daichi: I mean it

.

_Daichi has left crowtits_

* * *

It was nearing 4 a.m. when Masaki finally reached the hospital. Sighing in relief after having driven around without rest, he parked his car in a nearby parking lot.

Luckily it appeared that it was a slow night at the hospital so he won’t have to wait much. The sooner Kageyama got all checked up and cared for the better. Collecting all his essentials and remembering to take along the boy’s belongings he exited the vehicle.

Rather than carry the boy and accidentally worsen any injuries Masaki instead opted to run up to the reception, explaining the situation in the shortest possible version and was soon accompanying two hospital aid with a stretcher. Once he had opened the door and allowed them access, the two made quick work of swiftly but gently placing the unconscious kid on the firm surface, still rolled up in the blanket.

“You can get him admitted at the reception, they’ll help you out with the paperwork. We will be taking him inside to get checked,”

The two barely waited for an affirmative in reply before hustling away with their fragile cargo, leaving the man to lock up his car and hurry behind them.

By the time Masaki entered the hospital lobby, there was no sight of his temporary companion or the two men who carried him in. That should be a good sign, he mused, they didn’t have to wait. Now he only had to deal with the copious amounts of paperwork and probably got suspected as a kidnapper, no big deal, right.

Sighing, he headed over to the reception desk, the lady he had talked to earlier already standing ready with a tablet in her hands.

“Hello, I’m Takigawa Masaki, I’m accompanying the kid that just got carried in.”

The lady nodded, pushing the tablet in his direction, “Please fill as much as you can Takigawa-san. Thank you for bringing the boy in,”

“Ah it’s no worries, I just did what I should’ve, no need to thank me,”

The lady smiled, continuing on, “Though please understand that protocol is the protocol and, ah I don’t want to seem rude,”

“Oh no I totally understand, I expected the authorities will be called. I mean he is a minor whom I, a grown man, brought in in the middle of the night, it is natural to be suspicious I guess,” he fumbled out, laughing a bit awkwardly at the end, hoping he didn’t accidentally incriminate himself or something.

“I’m glad you understand. You can take this tablet with you and fill the details, get comfortable because the authorities might take a while. I apologize but you might’ve to stay the night,” the lady said, bowing a little bit.

“It’s completely fine, I understand,” he reassured her, taking the offered device and giving a brief read over to the opened form.

Ah, hospitals, and their paperwork.

“That’s great, please don’t hesitate to access the beverages in the waiting area. I’ll inform the doctor that you’re accompanying…”

“Kageyama Tobio, please.”

“Kageyama Tobio, yes.”

Nodding, Masaki headed over to the empty seat closest to the coffee machine.

He needed some energy bean juice, like right this second.

Placing the tablet on the small table-top near the seat, he first served himself a hot cup of coffee, adding his preferred two teaspoons of coffee and hefty amounts of creamer. He preferred his coffee thick.

Once he had his beverage in his hands, he properly sat in the chair, relaxing as much as he could on the cold metal.

It was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i couldnt make myself actually format the chat bit  
> why  
> I Am TIREEDDD GAHHH I STILL HAVE TO WAKE UP EARLY TMRW AGAIN CRRYYYY  
> but on another note  
> BANGTAN COMEBACK


	7. MamaKage

It was six in the morning when Kageyama Himari finally reached her home. Quickly paying and thanking the cab driver, she got out of the vehicle with her bag and rushed towards the house.

The light on the porch was on and she was half expecting her youngest to burst through the door with his bag on his back, screaming about not wanting to lose.

But nothing of that sort happened.

Before she could ring the bell, the door was slowly pushed out, her husband’s tired face greeting her. He had called her when he had reached the place early in the night, sounding utterly distraught. She had never heard him break down like that, not even when his father passed away, nor when they had hit a deep financial low just before Tobio’s birth. She could understand though.

Coming home, on the way, she still had some tinge of hope that her imbecile of a son would somehow stumble his way to their home, will be safe and sitting inside wrapped up in blankets, healthy; and she let herself get blinded by the whimsical mirage she had created for herself.

Seeing his lack of presence with her own eyes…that was a hard blow.

Feeling weak in the knees she slowly walked inside, passing her back to Kaito when he motioned for it.

The house was utterly empty, cold, and this is what her son had been coming back to, all day, every day.

Whenever she returned home after staying away for short bursts of time she was always welcomed back with an awkward hug and a barely put together meal; it never failed to make her day. But Tobio didn’t have that, at least not since Miwa left for university. Her own job had never let her spend much time with her kids and their financial condition didn’t allow her to even consider leaving it; it paid well enough, she was allowed to take leaves, and her travel expenses were all paid, there was no other job willing to offer her such perks as her current one.

They had thought about shifting to Tokyo, what with Kaito’s main office, and Miwa’s university being there, the only drawback was that they would’ve had to sell their old house to buy a new one. But Tobio was adamant about staying in Miyagi, not wanting to change schools at all, not wanting to leave his grandpa’s place. And they gave in; it wasn’t like they didn’t want to keep the house which had seen her husband grow up, their marriage, the birth of their kids and their milestones, all etched in every pore of the old yet sturdy structure.

Initially, she and her husband had tried to arrange work shifts in a way that let at least one of them stay at home with the kids now that their grandfather wasn’t there to look after them. It had seemed to work initially but soon their respective higher-ups got tired of acquiescing to their constant requests. Her husband had nearly lost his job. That’s when Miwa had stepped up, claiming she could handle the little rascal. Tobio had, of course, fought back against the condemnation aimed his way, stating he was a big boy, he didn’t need any supervision.

And they agreed, yet again. They did arrange for one of the nearby ladies to often come and check up on them, but soon her visits as a kind neighbor dwindled down as time passed by. Himari didn’t blame her, there was only so much a person could do out of the goodness of their heart.

By that time they seemed to have gotten used to the new living arrangement.

She did receive a couple of calls from Tobio’s school regarding his fights, but aside from that and Miwa’s impromptu teenage rebellion for her freedom, the sky was clear and waves calm.

And maybe they had gotten too complacent, too ignorant, somewhere along the way.

“I made some breakfast,” Kaito informed her, motioning towards the small dining area in their kitchen, effectively bringing her focus to the present.

“Have you eaten yet, you had to leave mid-lunch, right?” she questioned back, taking off her jacket and tossing it on the couch when they passed by it.

She didn’t want to remember it, the moment when Tobio’s teacher had informed her that her son had apparently run away in the middle of the night. She had been waiting for a meeting with her superiors at that time, sitting outside their office and going over her notes when her phone had vibrated in her pocket. She was absent-mindedly going to decline it, not wanting to risk getting delayed by some other work issue, because who else would call her? Her family knew she was off the radar during her work hours. But then her eyes had caught the contact name.

She had assumed her son had inadvertently fought with someone again, or happened to fail a test or something, and was ready to pick up the call and straight-up apologize to his teacher.

That hadn’t been it.

She certainly wasn’t ready for the words that followed, near tuned out while the man on the other side of the phone continued apologizing, sounding as if he was holding back tears by the skin of his teeth.

She didn’t remember screaming into the phone, didn’t remember scaring a random dude passing by so much he dropped his phone and nearly his soul, didn’t remember her superiors dashing out of their office looking all frenzied and a bit spooked out, no, all she remembered was the harrowing feeling chilling her soul to its depths.

Her son, her stupid idiotic son had run away. Her gullible, naïve boy had decided to run away, in the middle of the night, in Tokyo. That was twenty-four hours ago. There was no update yet, his teacher had tried to inform her as calmly as he could.

Tokyo with its scary city alleys, Tokyo with its traffic, its miscreants, its- and he was out there alone with no idea where to go.

A hand on her shoulder jerked Himari out of her spaced-out state, gently guiding her towards an already pulled out chair, “Start eating, I’ll join you after I make coffee.”

Her husband, she recalled calling him after her superior had helped her calm down, while one of her workmates was booking flight tickets for her of the same night. Her hands had been shaking, the news still settling in, noise roaring inside her head. But she managed to somehow call his number, and barely two rings in, his calm yet a bit puzzled voice greeted her ears.

That was all it took for her to break down crying, again, while her bosses fumbled around to pass tissues and pat her back awkwardly. She would need to take some sort of a thank you gift for them when she returned, dragging her son in tow to show them the little dumbass’ face.

Kaito had, she thought back, glancing at his back as he brewed some coffee; he had reacted remarkably well, when compared to her, overtly. Or that’s what she had assumed until she heard muffled surprised/worried yells on the other side of the phone screaming ‘Senpai! What happened!? Oh my god bring water! Don’t die!’

That is when she realized that maybe she shouldn’t have been so blunt in breaking the news.

And then the stupid man had decided it was okay to drive himself back home after nearly choking himself on both food and panic, all alone from Tokyo.

She could only pray that her daughter doesn’t suddenly decide to follow his steps without informing them.

Kaito had just returned to the table holding two wonky mugs of coffee when his phone rang from the living room, attached to the charging cable. He placed the two on the table, rushing to check if it was any update on Tobio. Himari’s attention was more attracted to the mugs. They were a part of an art project Miwa’s school had assigned to the kids over the summer break. She was only supposed to make one but of course, her brother had to butt in, pouting viciously until their father bought another bag of art mud for him to sculpt with. The mug Kaito had placed nearest to her still had Tobio’s little handprint dent on the side. The other one had the stick art their daughter had so painstakingly carved into the body of the mug, the kanji of her name painted proudly near the edge.

And Himari had been absent for it all, held up in Osaka with a new housing project.

“Mari!”

The sudden shout didn’t do any good to her already frayed nerves. But the tone of his voice…

“Mari! It’s- They-!” came her husband’s voice, progressively becoming louder as he near dashed into the kitchen and barely avoided a collision with the sliding door separating the kitchen area from the living room.

“What happened? You-!”

He was smiling.

Maybe..?

“Tobio!”

She was going to have a heart attack.

* * *

“Keeii? Hey, you need to eat something, your stomach will hurt more if you don’t. Kei? Are you awake?”

He waited until his older brother had dragged his whiny butt away before popping his head out of his blanket. Akiteru was barely bearable on a good day, downright annoying on bad ones.

Today was definitely not a good day for Kei and he would rather stay comfy in his bed than be needled by intrusive questions.

Unlocking his phone, he happened to impulsively open their chat, shaking his head at the dramatics. Did they really think the King has enough brain cells to concoct some big sinister scheme like this? But he was way too believing of those stupid blogs and videos…

Oh ho? The captain appeared actually angry for once. He was glad he was able to skip school today, no way he was going to subject himself to the gloomy atmosphere.

If not for the stupid King.

What was he even thinking- or more like, was he even thinking? What kind of dumbass just runs away like that? Certainly the stupidest type of breed of idiots.

Imagine being so prissy they couldn’t handle a few jabs and seeing their ex being happy for once. Kei certainly couldn’t relate. Ugh just thinking about his face annoyed him to no bits. And now because of a certain King, everyone was suddenly so keyed up? So nasty? If Kei could, he would skip school for the whole week, spare himself from the teen rom-com drama. Yamaguchi had spent the whole night back at the camp crying as if he was to blame for King’s sudden moment of utter idiocy. And that annoyed him to no ends.

Though he had thought that the dumbass would return by night after playing daredevil, but apparently not.

Rolling over onto his other side Kei let his eyes fall shut, he would rather sleep than spare any more of his brain space for that idiot.

* * *

“Okay, so his parents are on the way, and we’ve already gotten a report back from the district station in Tokyo as well as your institute confirming your alibi, so you’re clear to go Takigawa-san. Though the boy’s parents requested to meet you, if possible, certainly not if you’re short on time, so if you would like to stay and rest, we can request the hospital authorities to supply you with a resting space.”

Masaki nodded at the police officer, taking back his ID card with a slight bow. “Thank you for your hard work. I’m not in any hurry and personally I feel it’s not exactly safe for me to drive without any sleep so if it wouldn’t be too much trouble on the authorities may I please..?”

The man nodded back with an understanding smile, “Of course, we would certainly not want you to put yourself, and potentially others in risk, and I’m certain that they can easily accommodate you with a bed and meals for the day,”

“Ah no, there’s no need just a couch or something would be fine.”

“Sir please, take it as a sign of our gratitude. You’ve helped save a child’s life, this is the least we can do.”

Feeling a bit embarrassed by the torrential downpour of praise Masaki simply nodded, standing up when the police officer did and shaking his hand when offered. The other man departed with a semi-formal bow, Masaki quickly returning the courtesy.

Sitting back on the chair he had been occupying for the majority of the night he picked up his tablet to send an email to the high school authorities, thanking them for their fast response with the alibi as well as extending his leave to add two more days. He really wasn’t looking forward to Kaito’s fierce pouting because he was ‘so late!’.

Thinking back to the events of the night, he was still having trouble registering them as real, something that actually happened. Honestly, though, all this praise was really going to get to his head.

Since he wasn’t family, they hadn’t informed him of any details about what the kid’s status was aside from reassurance that he would make it out alive. Masaki really hoped so, prayed that there would be no lasting impacts, especially since the kid was practically brandishing that he was a sports athlete. Any kind of permanent physical damage could lead to potential total decimation of his future plans into going professional if he was hoping to. Being a person in the sports circle, Masaki had seen his fair share of injuries, mostly easy to recover ones but a few permanent, immediately ousted from ever competing, or even picking up the bow ones. Luckily his grandfather, for all his harsh and unnecessarily insensitive way of teaching, had prepared Masaki to hone his skills without harming his own body.

There was the reason the old man had died of ripe old age while still shooting the bow with as much precision and elegance as he used to when he was considerably younger.

“Takigawa-san?”

“Yes?”

The hospital staff man smiled at him, “If you would like to rest please make use of guest room number four, it’s on the third floor of the building, two rooms down the left side of the hallway from elevator number two. For meals you can utilize the services of any of the establishments inside the area marked food court, just tell them your name, they’ll aid you.”

And off the man went with a slight bow, leaving Masaki still trying to compute the directions he had told him with his overused brain.

Maybe he should, indeed, go to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i said i'll do a hina or kuroo pov...i chickened out  
> have a half baked tsuki one hehhe  
> i'll come proofread tmrw


	8. KarasunoFloorGang

For the first time in a long while, the Karasuno gymnasium was silent. No squeaks from shoes dashing around the court, no thuds from spiking or services, no yells, no laughs; just silence.

Rather than affixing the netting or bringing out the ball basket all present members of the boys’ volleyball club were sitting in chairs in a spread out circle, looking anywhere but the three men sitting directly in front of the stage.

“Yamaguchi-kun,”

“Y-yes, sir?”

“Where is Tsukishima-kun? Don’t you two usually come together?”

Yamaguchi scratched his elbow nervously, mumbling a low answer in reply, “He-he is sick, his brother said.”

“Ah, I see, well I’ll be meeting separately with him later then. Okay,” Standing up, Takeda called all of them to attention, “before we begin, as some of you might know, this,” he continued on, gesturing towards the brown-haired man sitting on his right, the left being occupied by Ukai, “is Koyuki-sensei, he is the school counselor and all of you will be having at least one session with him after this meeting is over, understood? You won’t be allowed on the court unless sensei gives you the clear to.”

The counselor, Koyuki, nodded along in agreement, smiling a little at the tense teenagers sitting around him, “I’ll be discussing your schedules at the end and we can decide which time suits you the best.”

Following a row of ‘thank you’s and ‘nice to meet you’s, everyone seemed to settle down for a few tense moments, passing each other awkward glances.

“Um, sensei?”

Everyone’s heads turned to look at the small ginger head who nearly jumped in his seat at the sudden attention. Takeda nodded at him to continue on, making an effort to relax his facial muscles when Ukai not so sneakily informed him that he was scaring the kids if Koyuki’s poorly hidden smile was something to go by.

“I- Kageyama is he okay..?” As Hinata spoke his resolve seemed to drain from his body, eventually trailing off into a hushed whisper which still rang as strong as a scream in the pin-drop silent hall. Worried about his kouhai, the uncharacteristically subdued Nishinoya threw his arm around the other’s slumped shoulders, patting him on the back.

The name of the lost boy reminded everyone of their peculiar circumstances, of the reason why all of them were exempted from taking their morning lessons, why their teacher who was supposedly suspended still allowed to come to the school premises and hold a meeting with them, why their coach looked scarier than normal, and why the school counselor was sitting there with a considerably thick stack of pages in his lap.

Takeda nodded, beginning to talk in a somber voice, “I would like no interruptions till I’m finished, okay? I won’t go too into detail but if any of you want to take a breather, you’re allowed to leave the gym,” At getting nods of agreement from all of them, he nodded back and continued, “Kageyama-kun’s father called me some half an hour ago. He was found by someone near Takahagi in Ibaraki prefecture by the roadside at around two last nigh-!”

“What the-!”

“Roadside!?”

“Oh my God no-!”

“Ibaraki!? But that’s so fa-!”

“Quiet!”

At their coach’s strong voice everyone instantly piped down, looking at the floor or rubbing an imaginary stain on their fingers.

Sighing, and already having expected the interruption, Takeda continued on, “Fortunately that person took care of him and Kageyama-kun is currently admitted into a hospital in Tomioka. His parents are most likely still on their way there so I don’t have any information on how he is doing but in the least, we are aware that he is hanging in there.”

“So…he is okay, right? H-he is, right?”

Once again, as if synchronized, everyone’s heads swiveled to look at the tangerine who was looking straight back at their teacher with a gaze so focused Takeda would’ve gotten embarrassed if it was a regular day. But it wasn’t.

“I don’t want to give you any false hopes, Hinata-kun. But he is alive, I can’t say anything else for certain, but he is alive.”

The first year nearly folded in on himself, leaving Noya fumbling about with his arm. When he started sobbing, the second year senpai nearly fell out of his chair in his confusion on what to do.

Kinoshita, able to use his brain, quickly fetched a bottle of water and offered it to Hinata.

The only issue was that Hinata wasn’t even responding to his, or anyone’s calls.

Kinoshita shifted out of the way when coach Ukai came over and gently guided the first year to get up from his seat, “I think we will be getting some warm drinks for everyone. You guys can continue,” he said, heading out of the gymnasium with a crying tangerine plastered on his side.

Takeda nodded gratefully at the man when their eyes met before looking at the teens around him, “As I said earlier, if any of you need a breather, or are feeling overwhelmed, you can go out, take some time to yourself, and then return when you feel like you can continue, okay?” Meeting their somber and nervous gazes he continued on in a softer tone, “I don’t want anyone of you guys to get hurt, may it be on the court or off it, and that applies to both physically or psychologically. I know all of you are aware of the potential dangers while playing a sport as volatile as volleyball, and training as hard as you guys do, but I feel not all of us here are as aware of the emotional and mental aspect of things, are we?”

Gentle shakes of head greeted his statement, everyone looking resolutely down at their feet.

“I didn’t say that to make you guys feel bad about yourselves, you’re still children, some of you barely classifying as young adults. You still have a lot to learn, and sometimes the lessons life teaches us comes at a heavy cost. What happened with Kageyama-kun shouldn’t have happened and as his teacher, I’m ashamed of myself for not noticing his distress soon enough to prevent the ensuing happenings. It’s nothing short of a miracle that he somehow managed to reach safety, and I would like to make it clear to everyone present here that I, in no way, support his actions, okay? I can understand the possible circumstances that might’ve led him to do it but if anyone of you ever thinks of pulling a stunt like that,” Takeda stopped himself for a second, taking a deep calming breath before continuing, “keep in mind that he was the rare few of many who never ever get to see the faces of their loved ones again.”

He stopped again, allowing for the words to sink in. If the way some of them were clutching their knees or the sides of their chairs was anything to go by then they had also slowly realized the myriad of mishappenings that could’ve taken place with their teammate. The boy could’ve gotten kidnapped, sold off in some trafficking ring, raped, murdered- the list was endless, and Takeda was getting the sudden urge to puke simply from thinking about it.

That was the moment Ukai arrived back with multiple cans of coffee in a cloth bag, Hinata following on his tail still sniffling a little.

Pulling out three cans for himself and the other adults from the bag, Ukai handed over the rest to Asahi when he passed him, “Take one and pass the bag over to the one beside you,” he instructed, patting the boy on the back before heading over to his empty chair.

Once everyone was situated again, some already drinking the warm beverage while some looking like they would rather bury themselves in concrete, Takeda began speaking once again, feeling mentally exhausted himself. He had spent nearly the entirety of last night awake preparing for this meeting and worrying over Kageyama’s wellbeing. When his father had called him, Takeda had genuinely felt like he was going to pass out from relief.

“Before I hand this meeting over to Koyuki-sensei I would just like to say: speak up. If anyone of you feels uncomfortable for any reason, no matter how insignificant it feels to you, speak up. You can come to me, coach Ukai, Koyuki-sensei, your captain, any of your teammates, just speak up, okay?”

Receiving nods and other forms of agreement in reply Takeda smiled and sat down.

Clearing his throat Koyuki took his cue to begin his part. He smiled at the teens looking over at him with curious gazes, toeing off his shoes and pushing them under his chair with the back of his foot.

“Ah, if all of you don’t mind,” he began with a slightly mischievous look on his face before plopping his butt down on the floor as gracefully as he could, “would you like to join me on the floor?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i genuinely wanted to write more  
> but in the end my tiredness won over and ugh it barely 3 am and I'm feeling so sleepy and tired?? UNI HAS NOT EVEN BEGUN YET OMG and the workload keeps on increasing from all the side gigs I'm doing oof my eyes ahahahha too much screen time   
> Have a rag tag of a barely any plot chapter we might visit Kags next chapter maybe  
> I wanted to write Ukai and hinata interaction but heck I'm just TIRREDD uwu I'll include it in next chapter if I rmmbr  
> Thank you all so much for your support and love ;u; I cant believe I- I'm so thankful??? ALL OF YOU KEEP ME GOING AHHH THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!  
> not proofread cus I like to feed you all raw food (honestly sometimes I'm way too embarrassed to proofread omg I cringe bye uwu)


	9. TurtlePace

“Before we begin I would like you all to know that this,” Koyuki began, gesturing around the whole circle with his arm, “is a safe space. Nothing you say here will go out and I hope each and every one of you will respect this rule.” He waited for everyone to give some sort of agreement before continuing, “Good. Now, this conversation is going to be a difficult one and acknowledging that fact if and whenever you feel like you can’t hear or talk anymore, need a break, or just need some time away please knock on the floor two times and you may take your leave. Though I would appreciate it if you would be able to join us back again. I hope this much is understood?”

“Yes, sensei!”

Nodding with a smile aimed at all the tense kids around him Koyuki ruffled through the papers he had in his lap before pulling out a single sheet with notes scribbled on it.

“Today we are not here to pass any judgment on anyone or play the blame game. I know it might be difficult because that’s what all of us are used to, right? All the movies and shows on TV, what do they show?”

“A bad guy and a good one?” Sugawara supplied from where he was sitting between Daichi and Kiyoko.

“Yes, exactly. Because of that, and many other similar ‘conditionings’ or learnings, we always end up trying to find someone to blame, stick on all the fault on them, may it be us ourselves or someone else hmm?”

“Yeah…”

“I guess…”

“Okay, for example, lets take a situation. All of you have played in matches before right?”

Receiving nods and some looks that screamed ‘are you serious, obviously!’ Koyuki continued on, “Then you’ve won some and lost some, right?”

The kids looked near done with his questions that had obvious answers but still graced it with a uniform ‘yes’. Not wanting to lose their interest before he had even begun to make his point, the counselor began another long tirade, “Ahaha I know, I know, stupid questions right? But well the point I want to make is if you lose a match and one of you guys happened to not be able to save the ball at the end, immediately followed by the announcement that you lost…would you guys blame them? Tell them that the team lost because they weren’t able to properly receive or got blocked?”

Only silence greeted him.

“No,”

Everyone’s gaze moved towards the usually timid third year.

“We don’t and we won’t. I-,” Asahi took a deep breath before continuing, pulling on the laces of his shoes and unable to actually look up but his voice was heard as clear as ever, “I- Before many times I wasn’t able to, you know, get past the other team’s block and that really…yeah. I left the club but that was on my own! I- everyone was always you know supporting me and yeah…I just,”

“Hmhm,”

“What I wanted to say was I- no one ever blamed me, you know? I don’t know but they never said it to me and supported me, it was only me but everyone else, yeah they never blamed me.”

“Thank you for sharing that with us Asahi-kun.”

Asahi nodded almost shyly, instinctively risking a side glance to look at his teammates’ reactions only to get the second year spiker libero pair crying in his face.

“And so, similarly, I hope that in this conversation we don’t get fixated with deciding who the bad guy is okay? Keep in mind that if you lose or win, that’s by your team effort, similarly, no situation comes to form by the role of just one single element.”

Once everyone had nodded in understanding, the man readied himself for the long heavy talk that was to come.

“Haiii, so now that those matters have been clarified, lets come to address the elephant in the room. Takeda-sensei shared some details with me, including some parts of the conversation in a group chat. I would like to apologize beforehand for intruding on your privacy in this manner, I hope you guys will understand why it was necessary for the part to addressing Kageyama-kun’s situation.”

Some of them looked around with shifty eyes but the seniors were all remarkably calm and accepting of the fact.

“We will be here all day if we start guessing the reasons why Kageyama-kun left in such an abrupt manner and still won’t have anything better than probabilities or plausible conclusions. That’s why we won’t do that.”

Nearly everyone, aside from the teacher and coach, looked up in slight shock.

“Instead, our discussion today will be focused on two major points: bullying and how you guys are currently coping, or unable to cope, whatever your emotional state is.”

Arranging the bundle of papers in his hands, he passed it to Daichi, who was sitting right beside him, “Please keep one and pass the re-!”

“B-bullying?”

Nodding seriously Koyuki agreed, “Yes, Yachi-san, bullying.”

“B-b-oh…”

Sending a small smile towards the small girl, Koyuki sat up a bit straighter to address them all, “Intentionally or unintentionally, knowingly or unknowingly, the experience Kageyama-kun was facing in the group chat from the excerpts that were shared with me is nearly the textbook definition of cyberbullying.” He paused for a moment there, looking keenly at the young faces around him for any obvious signs of distress. He wanted these kids to learn, to grow, not to traumatize them or injure them in any way. “It might not have seemed that way, and I can understand that. It is possible that you guys had become used to the way things were going, it makes it hard to catch the signs that I or your teacher and coach were able to spot as uninvolved parties. And I would like to restate: We are not playing a blame game here, okay? Don’t beat yourself down, it won’t do anyone any good, especially not to your own wellbeing.”

Hinata could only stare down at the stapled bunch of papers in his hands, the words ‘bullying’ printed in bold followed by some generic information about what it was. He didn’t want to hear it, read it, process it…Bullying.

It was such a hideous word. Such low actions.

To think Kageyama was being…and what was Hinata doing? Moping around because he broke up with him? Because his setter won’t set for him anymore? He even hit him…

“I…I hit him, Kageyama I- hit him?”

“Hinata-kun?”

Squeezing his eyes shut, he just shook his head.

* * *

It was nearly nine a.m. by the time the Kageyama pair managed to reach the hospital their son was admitted in, rushing out of their car and towards the reception in a worried frenzy tinged with a dash of exhilaration. Himari called for the attention of the lady behind the desk, asking for her son’s location and showing her ID when prompted for verification. While the things were being processed Kaito took the chance to ask about the man who had found and rescued their son, only to be informed that he was resting but that they would inform them when they could meet and properly thank him.

The reception lady handed Himari Tobio’s phone and wallet before calling for another hospital aid who eventually led them through the clean and silent halls.

Kaito felt like his head was going to pop off by the time they managed to see their kid again. He was so near yet still out of sight and his heart wasn’t going to settle till he could hold the idiot in his arms to ensure he was there, still present on this planet, breathing and alive.

“We are expecting him to wake up any time now, though Tobio-san’s doctor will be able to explain the situation to you better, he will be at his room shortly.” The nurse informed them, leading them out of the elevator and towards one of the many similar doors in the hall, “Currently he is the only one in this room.”

As soon as the door was pushed open, Himari immediately went over to her son’s bedside, almost in a daze as she touched his face and ran her hand through his hair.

“Tobio…”

Kaito closed the room’s door as the aid left, taking a moment to himself before heading towards the lone occupied bed in the room. All his fears, the images conjured by his brain of what he would see were all erased when he finally caught a look of his son’s unconscious form.

He looked so peaceful as if nothing was wrong.

“This absolute idiot.”

The pair took a seat on each side of the bed, Kaito immediately pulling out his phone to call their daughter.

“You know…I was thinking,” Himari began, pulling her husband’s attention before he could dial the number, “Tobio, I don’t want him to live alone… anymore.”

Kaito nodded, gazing at the sallow face of their son, “He has lost weight…”

“Hmm, I think we should move to Tokyo…”

“But, would he agree?”

Himari immediately shook her head, facing her husband with a wry smile, “Do you think he would, ever?”

“Heh, dad did kind of raise him right… He has his brand of stubbornness written all over his face.”

“Yeah..,” Taking Tobio’s hand between hers, she slowly started patting it, mindful of the light gauze taped on the palm side.

Before they could continue, there was a knock on the door which soon opened to reveal the doctor, they guessed from her uniform as well as based on the information the aid had given them before, who was in charge of Tobio’s wellbeing.

Once the introductions and polite courtesies were done with the three sat down in various places around the bed. The doctor, Sanada Minako as she had introduced herself, gave the two a brief rundown of their son’s current status, starting from the multiple muscle injuries in his legs and back to skin rashes and lack of nutrition.

“We are expecting him to get sick, to be very honest.” She has informed them, pointing out the fact that his immune system had gone near haywire due to the neglect and overworking of his body. “We haven’t given him any sedatives, only some light painkillers to ebb away the muscle pains so they won’t wake him up from his slumber. The longer he sleeps the better, for now; but if he doesn’t show any signs of regaining consciousness after a substantial amount of time we will be doing some brain imaging scans for precaution. We have checked and there doesn’t seem to be any injury on his head, but we did spot one here,” she patted her nape area, “It spanned across the majority of his upper back so its possible he won’t be able to properly move his arms for at least a few days or maybe a week or two till it heals.”

The Kageyama pair nodded in understanding.

“There are some other things I would like to discuss with you both but I believe it might become too overwhelming; they aren’t time-sensitive so there’s no issue in that regard. I’ve been made aware of your circumstances, hence please don’t hesitate to utilize this space to rest.” She informed them with a smile, “I’ll be returning around lunchtime to check up on Tobio-san, please take care.”

Once the family was left alone again Kaito immediately dialed Miwa’s number and stepped out of the room with a pat on his son’s head.

Himari remained seated, taking her time to process the information they’ve just been provided.

There was loads of it.

But the thing that mattered the most to her was: Tobio was going to be okay.

Sooner or later, he was going to be okay.

At least physically.

Mentally though…

Himari could only tighten her hold on his hand and hope her son would be able to make it through whatever came to obstruct his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof these chapters are heavy on brain cell energy consumption haha  
> I always have to keep re reading and re wording things to make sure they wont come off the wrong way fjfnd  
> THANK YOU TO EVERYONE STICKING AROUND FOR THE RIDEEEEEE!!! this and possibly the following couple chapters are going to be slow paced, like there wont be major time jumps or pov shifts (I guess? idk I just go with the flow jndjjndj)
> 
> Watch Ride Your Wave  
> i did  
> I cried  
> I'm still crying  
> I might write an oikage ff based on it  
> it might be a bit too obvious but heck I was near the brinks of my sanity by the time I reached kag's parents part ahahahahahhaha cry  
>  5 am time to sleep if byeeeeee


	10. Don't Anger the Guardian Crows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit from everywhere

When he was young, Tadashi had often been subjected to teasi- no, he corrected himself, bullying by other kids of his age.

He was a small kid, admittedly, and was a bit meeker than the stereotypical grade-schooler.

The perfect target; easy to silence and scare.

There were many days he skipped school just so he wouldn’t have to go out and get his stuff broken by some big, bad bullies who derived some sick sense of pleasure from ruining his life. But his parents didn’t understand him very well and kept on scolding him to not skip school, to not waste his time.

So he went out, daily, scared, and trembling.

And came back home, crying and struggling to hold the pieces of his wet artwork together.

But then came his savior.

Tsuki was the complete opposite of Tadashi; tall, imposing and knew to hold his ground. Even some seniors were intimidated by him.

The day he rescued Tadashi was the day things started to turn the tide. Tadashi made it a point to properly thank the guy and somewhere along with the conversation they ended up making plans to check out the newest release of a manga the two of them read weekly.

Slowly all those bad kids drifted away, leaving Tadashi alone with his new best friend.

Slowly, Tadashi started looking forward to going to school again.

Slowly, he forgot about the pain…and the lesson he could’ve learned from it…

Slowly…he found himself in the shoes of those ‘bad’ guys.

Slowly…Yamaguchi Tadashi realized he had become a bully.

* * *

Kenma really wasn’t having the best of days.

He wanted to find Kuroo and smack him upside his head with a broom.

Hinata hadn’t yet read the messages in the group chat, luckily, but Kenma was fully aware it was going to happen sooner or later. He had already personally messaged him, apologizing for the mess he had inevitably led to the creation of, but he wasn’t really sure if this was something that could be forgiven. The Karasuno setter was still missing for hell’s sake, what if he isn’t ever…found?

And then what?

Sighing from the frustrated feeling constantly crawling under his skin he walked to the clubroom. Usually, Kuroo always picks him up from his house, and then they head to school together yet today there was no sign of the third year anywhere near Kenma’s front door. He had thought of calling him but the petty gremlin inside him won and he ended up leaving alone.

While Kenma admitted that he was the one who had come up with that, uhh, conspiracy theory, for the lack of better description and yes, he had been binge-watching many of those Reddit videos, but that didn’t mean that Kuroo had to go and blast everything out for the world to hear, much less in a chat which had people who were directly affected by the recent incidents.

Kenma had only wanted to discuss it with Akaashi, so the other boy would reprimand him, so this thought would just leave his head for good. He hadn’t expected that third-year dumbass to eavesdrop and pull such a poorly thought out stunt. No, Kenma thought, that idiot boyfriend of his hadn’t given it one ounce of thought.

He said that he wanted to protect Hinata…but did he? Yesterday night, in the flow of those emotions, Kenma might’ve agreed or at least resonated with the sentiment, but now, after having stayed awake most of the night unable to focus on the game he was playing…he couldn’t help but lament how stupid they had been. Him for giving life to those words and Kuroo for being an utter dumbass.

All they had managed to do was rub salt into their open wounds.

And Karasuno’s captain’s response…yeah, that was a sobering moment. Kenma had never expected him to just lash out like that. But he did; and that was surefire signal blaring loud that they had utterly fucked up.

That was only the captain though, most of their team was yet to read it, and Kenma really wasn’t looking forward to what was going to happen.

They might as well have started a war, and just when the inter-high was so near.

He really wasn’t having the best of days.

* * *

Simply opening his eyes was a mammoth of a task for Tobio, and honestly? He didn’t want to. He wanted to sleep, wanted for the bone-deep aches and random stretchy, muddy feeling to disappear. But now he was awake and unable to ignore the pounding thumping in unison throughout his body.

Struggling to bring his lethargic brain into function he slowly started registering his surroundings.

He wasn’t cold anymore. No, but he certainly was feeling hot, really really hot, especially his head.

Ransacking his brain to search for any clue as to his whereabouts he was struck by a sudden boom of thought: he had to go back home.

For that, he needed to keep walking. He had to walk, he screamed at himself, but why was his body refused to budge. He could feel he was lying on something soft yet sturdy…maybe he had fallen into some farm by the roadside? From the brightness behind his eyelids, he could guess that it was bright outside, so by his estimate, he had wasted another twelve or something hours just lazing around. He had to make progress for God’s sake!

Forcing his limbs to move he felt something wrapped around his legs. As far as he remembered he was wearing shorts so why-? There was something in his arm! If he could, Tobio would’ve screamed bloody murder, but all he managed was a weird mix between a whine and a gasp.

Suddenly he registered some shuffling sounds on his side; someone was there. A farmer? Hopefully, he prayed. He really didn’t want a repeat of what had happened earlier.

But now that he thought, something had happened while he was half-asleep. He had heard someone talking to him and then he was warm, really warm.

Maybe he did end up getting kidnapped, just his luck.

“Tobio?” That was, Tobio mentally gasped, his mom! He strained his ears to hear better, his head lolling a bit towards where the voice had come from. “Are you awake? Tobio?”

Tobio didn’t know whether to cry or cry. He was happy, so happy, his mom was here…maybe he reached home? But…but…he was going to die! She was going to kill him! He unconsciously whined, jolting a bit when a hand wrapped around his.

“He is awake! Tobi-Tobio is waking up!”

Ah his head hurt, his mom always had a penchant for yelling but he would really appreciate it if she didn’t right now.

Soon a pair of footsteps rushed over to the bed and Tobio felt a hand in his hair, quickly registering the other person as his father just from the way the footsteps sounded.

He really was home, wasn’t he?

Right?

He didn’t want to open his eyes.

He was scared.

The hand on his head moved in a light caress, lulling him into believing that maybe this wasn’t a fever dream.

Maybe his parents really were there.

“Maybe we should call the doctor or a nurse?” That was his mom’s voice.

“Yeah, just press that button on the wall, someone would come.” His dad.

They really were here…right?

Breathing through his dry throat he slowly urged his heavy eyelids to open up a sliver, mentally getting ready to face the open sky and dirt in his face, even though he knew his heart was going to fall in on itself if it indeed was some weird hallucination.

A blurry silhouette of a person hovered a few inches away from his eyes.

“Maybe we should dim the lights a bit, I think.”

“Hmm yeah, they might hurt his eyes,”

The shadowy figure moved away from his sight, the hand holding his fading away.

Tobio felt something cold flood his chest.

Somewhere inside he knew that his mom had just gone to dim the lights for him but the part of him that was on the brink of insanity was having none of the logical sense.

An unwarranted cry tore through his body and out of his chapped lips, making the hand on his head jolt in shock.

“Tobio? What happened?”

“Does something hurt? Tobio?”

The figure was back in his blurred sight and he scrabbled to get a hold of his mother’s hand, ultimately ending up latched up on the edge of her cardigan.

“Careful! You’ll hurt yourself!”

Unable to struggle in between the certainty and uncertainty he threw his eyes open, coming face to face with his mother.

“Kka-,”

She was real, she wasn’t disappearing in his hold.

He let his tired eyes do a little skim of his surroundings, noticing that the thing inside his arm was actually an IV drip.

He wasn’t home, then; he was at a hospital.

He failed.

“Shh, it will be okay, we’re here,”

He allowed himself to be comforted by his mother’s ministrations, following his father’s lead when he slowly started raising the bed so Tobio could engage with them more comfortably.

That was when he noticed that they weren’t alone in the room.

While the doctor, as he guessed from her clothes, talked a bit with his mother, his father continued sitting by his side, resolutely looking down at the floor.

Oh, Tobio thought, he really fucked up.

* * *

Suga wanted nothing more than to get on a train and head straight to where Kageyama was, just so he could see and confirm with his own two eyes that he really was there, safe and being taken care of.

After the pseudo group counseling session ended barely minutes before their seventh class concluded Suga had felt like burrowing himself in a corner and sleep. Luckily the counselor had, with the permission of the dean, allowed all of them to skip the last class of the day and simply relax around in the gym, to allow their minds some resting time, as he had said it.

So here he was, lounging on some foam mats all the while keeping an eye on the other team members strewn about around the gym.

Since Hinata really wasn’t able to cope well with their current circumstances Takeda sensei had taken it upon himself to take him home, hence their absence. Sometimes, Suga wondered, they really do overlook how kind and caring their teacher is. Not once had Suga seen him blaming or getting angry at Kageyama for causing a suspension on his record, neither had he blamed any of them in turn.

They couldn’t have asked for a better, more understanding human.

Daichi had told him how badly the principal had grilled Takeda-sensei, having been present during the meeting that discussed the situation in detail. Suga could only imagine what the man had to face in a meeting where none of them were present. Yet, he didn’t take it out on them, didn’t scold them, raise his voice or anything. All he had was stern compassion and firm advice.

And he went out of his way to request this meeting, urging the higher-ups till they allowed him to seek the aid of their school counselor to hold sessions for all them.

Pulling his knees up to his chest, he picked up his phone from where it was lying beside him, turning it on absentmindedly to catch up on things.

Maybe he should message Kageyama, wishing him a healthy recovery.

Nodding to himself, Suga opened the app and the first thing to assault his senses was the accursed group chat with an unholy amount of messages. Not wanting to open it but unable to resist the impulse, he tapped on it once.

Maybe he should inform them that Kageyama was found..? So they won’t worry themselves senseless.

But before he could quickly scroll past the unread messages, his eyes caught the words he, for a moment, didn’t believe were actually written there. Re-reading in a near frenzy, he quickly yet attentively went through the whole conversation, pausing when the notification announcing Daichi having left the GC came on his screen.

What the..? Were they for real?

He looked around the room; why? He didn’t know, but this was just-!

“Suga? Are you okay?” Suga looked up to find Asahi standing right in front of him as if appearing out of thin air. He had his water bottle dangling from his wrist by its strap, looking wet as if he had just returned from filling it up.

Suga sent a little glance around the gym, motioning Asahi to sit beside him when he ascertained that he hadn’t attracted anyone else’s attention.

The other third-year looked a bit confused but sat down beside his friend.

“Okay, okay,” Suga said, more to calm himself down than address Asahi. “Okay, just promise to stay calm, okay? I don’t want to catch their attention because frankly, I’m tired, angry, and hungry. I don’t have much patience left, so, yeah, just read,”

Asahi looked utterly out of his rhythm but nodded nonetheless, taking the offered phone in his hand. The first thing he noticed was the group chat’s name. Simply reading that name brought some not so nice feelings to rise in his heart. He could somewhat guess what would’ve happened, from Suga’s reaction and the general flow of things nowadays.

He started reading the messages, quickly skimming over the general banter when, finally, his eyes fell on a certain message by Nekoma’s captain. Now, Asahi wasn’t the most sociable in the bunch and that was one of the reasons he seemed to have a kind of connection with their first-year setter. So reading someone whom they weren’t even that familiar with, bad mouth his kouhai’s name like this…

Asahi was going to blow a gasket.

Earlier they hadn’t been vigilant enough, hadn’t taken initiative enough, and the results were sneering in their faces. And after the grueling session today his emotions felt all the more ready to break out of the hold he had them in.

“Suga,” he called out, doing his best to not sound as angry as he felt on the inside.

Suga only nodded, chomping down on a sandwich he had fished out of his bag.

“They really…”

“Yeah.”

Asahi scrolled down further, feeling a sense of satisfaction as the Seijoh captain and ace stood up to defend Kageyama, unlike before. That sense of satisfaction didn’t take long to dissolve into melancholy and remorse when he realized the steps that were taken, the lengths that were reached, just so they could notice what was going on, just so they realized that being bystanders wasn’t doing anyone any good.

“You know,” Suga began, “I was going to call them, demand that they say it to my face, you know if they had the balls to? But then I realized that…”

“Hmm?”

Suga sighed, toying with his shoelaces, “That that wouldn’t be for Kageyama…that would only help me, to calm this sense of, I don’t know, avenging Kageyama? So I would feel…better about myself?”

Asahi nodded in agreement, passing the phone back to its owner, “Hmm, yeah, I can understand that feeling…”

“Right?”

Asahi simply nodded again, adjusting around on the mat so he was able to rest his back against the wall.

Today’s session had given them a lot to ponder on and no matter how many times it was emphasized that they alone weren’t the reason for…but it was like second nature, at least for Asahi, to constantly focus on the what-ifs, the could-have-beens, the I-should-haves.

He could only hope that he wouldn’t end up creating any more scenarios that made him wonder of the what-ifs any time soon.

* * *

“And can you believe their audacity? Like how dare they! Only I have the right to tease Tobio-chan! And and they were being so mean! Iwa-chan! Did you see how mean they were being? Like seriously!”

Iwaizumi continued scrolling through the news updates on his phone, not minding the ranting buffoon walking beside him.

“How could they even think Tobio-chan would have the brain cells to think of something like that?? Like he is stupid, adorable, and pure and I bet he doesn’t even have brain cells! He has volleyballs in his head! Volley-cells? Brain-balls?”

Oikawa laughed at his own joke, looking at his best friend expectantly only to find him totally ignorant of the brilliance that had spilled out of his mouth. He was going to shake the smaller by his shoulders when his phone vibrating in the pocket of his pants caught his attention. Vowing to himself that he was going to seek justice for his unappreciated humor he pulled out the device and made an abort noise of shock at the name displayed as the caller ID.

“Iwa-chan!”

“What!?” Iwaizumi replied, a bit annoyed at the constant chattering assaulting his ears.

“It’s Refreshing-kun!”

“Refres- you mean Karasuno’s vice-captain?”

“Yeah yeah! Oh my God, what if he read those messages and wants to scold us? What if something happened to Tobio-chan and he is calling to give us the bad news? What if-!”

“Oh shut up!”

Iwaizumi snatched the phone and answered the call, immediately putting it on speaker.

“Hello?”

Oikawa pulled him away from the road they were on, on their way to Kageyama’s place, and towards the wall of a house so they wouldn’t black the way. Huddling closer, they listened as the boy on the other side replied.

“Ah Iwaizumi-san? Is Oikaw-!”

“Yeah, we are bot-,” “Don’t interrupt Shittyka-,” “-h here, Refreshing-kun!” “-awa!”

They heard a little laugh from the other side, the setter’s voice crackling over the connection, “Okay, noted. I-uh- I don’t know how to-,”

“What!?” Oikawa nearly yelled, his brain running a mile a minute, “Did something happen? What!?”

“Ah-no! No! I’m sorry! Okay,” Suga took a moment to stabilize himself before ripping the proverbial bandaid off in a swift motion, “Kageyama-kun was found by someone; he is at a hospi-,”

“OH MY- IWA-CHA-!” “Shut up! Let him finish!”

“Uh- no worries I understand,” Suga provided with a little laugh, “We are all really relieved too. We don’t have any other information on how he is health-wise, but his family is with him and he is safe. I just thought to inform you guys as soo-,”

“WHERE IS HE? I NEED TO GO AND TEACH H-!”

Iwaizumi straight up slapped a hand on his companion’s mouth, fearing for any annoyed aunties running out of their houses at the ruckus the idiot was creating.

“He is far from Miyagi; apparently the person who rescued Kageyama happened to find him passed out on the roadside somewhere near Takahagi, by the sea coastline somewhere,”

“By the roadside you say…so Tobio-chan was?”

“Hmhm we can only make guesses right now but yes, most likely.”

“And then they took him to a hospital; this happened all in the early morning. By the time sensei informed us, at around seven in the morning, Kageyama’s parents were already on their way to the place he is at,”

“That’s good, at least he is safe right now; I hope he makes a good recovery,”

Suga hummed on the other side, “Yeah. I just thought to inform you gu-,”

“Thank you so much Refreshing-kun! W-,” “Why do you always interrupt other people Shittykawa!?” “Oof! You are so violent Iwa-chan! Not a good look!”

Suga simply laughed and bid them farewell, disconnecting the call.

The two Seijoh third years bickered a bit more before deciding to head home for the day. Since the family was already informed, they didn’t have any reason to go and scope out the Kageyama household anymore.

“Ah I’m so relieved~ No I won’t have to expend any more of my precious brain energy worrying after Tobio-chan that dumbass. See! I even got a wrinkle on my forehead because of him!”

“Oh just shut up please, for one second, just-!”

“Iwa-chan!”

“No!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... uni started  
> yeah  
> second day of classes... 10 am to 5 pm :"D like ik this is a postgraduation course but :"D and then I had my internships :"D I have started to appreciate weekends again
> 
> Due to the long wait have a long chapter uwu  
> Okay little rant about Yamaguchi: I re read the manga a bit and honestly Yamaguchi isn't exactly hmm making Tsukki shut up? like at times he even laughs when Tsuki is rude. so like in a way giving him indirect or even direct support. So yeah that's what the first section was born out of. Solely because I feel we sometimes overlook the sheer significance a silent, potentially unrealizing, and unassuming supporter can have on someone. 
> 
> my proofreading = running it through Grammarly once and hope for the best lol


	11. Oof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama Kaito thinks, Hinata confronts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone is OOC ig

Kageyama Kaito wasn’t having the best of days. His head hurt, his hands were occasionally cramping, a result of driving without any breaks, he reckoned, and he felt like his eyes were going to self-annihilate any second.

They had found their son in good hands, being taken care of, and as safe as he could have been after the ordeal. But after having talked with the authorities he realized the full extent of the mammoth of an iceberg they were confronted with. He had wrongly assumed, in his sleepless, frazzled state that they would reunite with their little idiot, take him back home, and everything would be good again.

But alas that was a greatly flawed optimistic view of the situation.

The doctor, having been privy to basic details of the situation, had strongly advised a mental health evaluation for Tobio, like he was…like he was crazy. Kaito didn’t want to, initially; he wanted to refuse the suggestion and drive his family back home. His son wasn’t some- some crazy ‘flight risk’. He was a teenager! They were stupid, idiotic, rebellious; he had heard of so many stories from his co-workers, of their children going through the teenage rebellion phase. Heck, his own daughter had one. No one had called them a ‘potential’ danger to themselves, made ‘strong recommendations’ of visiting a psychologist.

So why? Why his Tobio?

Yet he had kept his mouth shut, eyes turned away, and stood on the side while his wife discussed future options.

When the doctor had left Himari had turned to him with a hard look, silent.

That was how most of their conversations were, had been since long though the essence had rotten and changed. Her gaze had made him feel nostalgic of the understanding they had shared before their professional lives forced them farther and farther apart, turning fond unspoken words into bleak concrete barriers of misunderstandings.

There had been years where they got to see each other barely once a couple of months and then too, those opportunities slowly turned from happy reunions to awkward silences and tired sighs. And Kaito wasn’t blind enough to not notice the effect it had on their kids, especially on their youngest.

When his father had passed away things had been tough, to say the least. The push and pull from work stress, making excuses to time their work commitments in front of their respective employers, compromising with a headstrong daughter, and being confronted with a fraying marriage had led to some nasty, nasty arguments between them.

On multiple occasions it had been at the dinner table, he recounted with a flare of deep-seated regret. In midst of their own emotional outbursts, they had ignored the other two people sitting with them on the table, too busy making snide remarks at each other, ruthlessly pulling at each other’s weakest strings. Slowly the family meals had turned into a to each their own setting.

Their home had become too constricting, too suffocating, and eventually, they had arrived at a stalemate of sorts. Defeated on all fronts they had come to an understanding, decided that they had no other option than to gamble the fate of their family.

A son who refused to leave his grandfather’s memories, a daughter who wanted anything but to spend any more time with her ‘family’, a wife who acted more like an acquaintance than his life partner, and then there was him, prone to stress and anger issues, too quick to make the wrong choices and too impatient to consider the right ones.

They had played a gamble.

And Kaito was slowly realizing that maybe they had been on a losing streak before they had even begun.

* * *

Shouyou felt like dying.

He didn’t want to breathe anymore; didn’t want to confront those difficult feelings, that cesspool of guilt and self-hate constantly threatening to drown him inside.

Takeda sensei had dropped him off at his home seemingly hours ago. He didn’t exactly keep count.

His mom had, of course, been worried when he had tumbled through the main door and ran straight to his room. He regretted it now, not properly acknowledging her, but he really didn’t have the energy nor fortitude to do so. He was so so tired.

Kenma and Kuroo had called him earlier, his phone vibrating where it lay beside his hand on the bed. But he could barely make his lungs expand to take in enough air, much less have the energy to pick up his phone and talk.

He honestly didn’t know why he felt so bad, it was almost scary. He had never felt so suffocated, so caged before.

Somewhere in the back of his head was a voice that was constantly going:

Why do you care?

Care about whom?

Kageyama?

And Hinata really didn’t have an answer for that voice.

Why exactly did he care?

Why not should he care?

Kageyama, even with all his rude and violent tendencies, was his friend, his first setter, the second half of their freak duo.

They did go through multiple rough patches…and honestly, Hinata hadn’t been feeling too warm towards the setter even while they were at the camp. Those weeks of fights had struck something vulnerable inside him.

That complete dismissal of his abilities as a player, even though it was technically correct, by the person whom he entrusted his whole being to on the court had hurt him really bad. Somewhere deep inside he had slowly become aware of the way he tended to seek praise and validation from the setter, using him as his motivation to keep on improving so Kageyama won’t feel like he was wasting his time by associating with him.

Hinata had been scared, ever since the first time he managed to spike that volleyball Kageyama had set that the other boy will realize how useless, how weak Hinata was, and that he would move on, find someone way, way better than a midget who only knew how to jump.

So he had trained hard, seeking help from the neighborhood volleyball association, nearly begging Asahi-senpai to help him in practicing spikes, even though the third year was more than happy to do so, requested Nishinoya-senpai to train him in receiving.

And he had made improvements; they were little but they were there.

But they were too insignificant in front of the raging ocean that Kageyama was.

Day by day Hinata had felt his own weaknesses starting to eclipse the sun their freak quick was. He had felt like he was latching onto Kageyama like a burden, holding the other back like a weak dam. And as was inevitable, the roaring power of nature would always overpower the forgettable human creations.

Then it had happened; while Hinata had been occupied in his own insecurities Kageyama had blindsided him with a super awkward yet utterly adorable proposal, asking him out on a date. Hinata remembered all the embarrassing details of the way he had fumbled around, fell face-first on the ground before yelling a yes. Because, why not?

Why not?

Those feelings of admiration, of awe and pride, of slight possessiveness, had culminated into a weird amalgamation of something new, something he had wrongly perceived as love.

And now, he had the results screeching in his face.

Forget boyfriend, he had failed at being a decent teammate to his supposed best friend. He had been so busy feeling bad for himself that he willfully ignored those words being said about the other, ignored the other as a person, period.

Heck, barely a month out and he had got himself two new lovers; acting so callous, so disgusting.

Hinata hated what he had become.

He wanted nothing more than to see Kageyama and beg. Beg for forgiveness, plead guilty for being an idiot, an enabler, an asshole. He was ready to do whatever the other wanted him to, whatever.

Suddenly feeling restless he picked up his phone and got ready to dial the setter’s number. In his hurry, he ended up accidentally clicking on a pop-up notification from the chatting app they used, and the group that was at the crux of their current circumstances stared back at him almost mockingly.

He was going to exit but curiosity got the best of him. Quickly scrolling down the numerous messages he started noticing Kuroo’s name being tagged with, what appeared to him, as angry texts.

For a moment his body froze up, thinking that somehow the other had become the new ‘victim’. He quickly scrolled around, trying to make sense of what was happening but in the end, had to scroll all the way up to start reading in a more linear and sensible fashion.

“..blackmail?”

How could they- Was Kuroo insane!? How could he think that Kageyama would ever do something like that…and for him? Was he responsible for this?

Was all of this his fault again?

Quickly dialing Kuroo’s number, Shouyou sat up on the edge of his bed, anxiously clutching his pillow while the caller tone beeped in his ear.

“Chibi-kun! Where have you been? You know Kenma and me were-!”

“Kuroo-san!”

Hinata could hear Kenma’s voice on the other end, mumbling something in the background. Heard a sigh come from the other side, followed by Kuroo’s voice.

“Look I- I can guess why you called okay?”

“Then why did you say that!? Don’t- don’t you know that Kageyama-kun is-,”

Kuroo interrupted him mid-sentence, his voice sounding rougher than what it was earlier, “I know okay, I know. I just- look Chibi I was worried okay?”

“Worried?”

“Hmm yeah like you know right! How he was with you bef-,”

“That doesn’t matter here!”

“Why wouldn’t it!? Geez, Chibi-chan can’t you see it? It’s so obvious! Of course, he was so hung up on you! Didn’t you see the looks he kept sending you throughout the training camp?”

Looks? Kageyama- why would he?

“Now that I think back I can’t help but be sure that he ran away to emotionally- uh…Kenma, what’s the word?”

“Stop it! You don’t know Kageyama-kun Kuroo-san!”

“Oh, I know his kind plenty enough Chibi-!”

“What do you mean by _his kind_?”

Hinata couldn’t believe his ears. Was this the result of all that ‘teasing fun’? Did everyone see Kageyama like some-

“Rude, obsessive, egoistic, think they’re everything and all? He was a jerk was what he was.”

“What ar-,”

“Why are you even defending him? See! I told you, didn’t I? By doing this he just played all of you right in his hands!”

“You’re wrong! You-you don’t know a SINGLE THING about Kageyama-kun!”

“Kuroo stop it, I told you that you were going to apologize!” That was Kenma’s voice, though hard to properly hear, Hinata could easily make out the meaning behind those words.

“Why should I? Didn’t you see all the times that dude insults and screams at his _team_ , all that King stuff? And you want me t-.”

He cut the call.

Turned off his phone.

Hinata couldn’t stop the garbled scream of frustration that tore out of his throat, stopping himself moments before he threw his phone against the wall.

He barely noticed when his sister threw open his room’s door, and stood there, watching with a shaking heart as he crumbled in on himself.

This was so, so fucked up.

.

.

.

And whose fault was it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again to a small chapter and worldly disappointments


	12. Kuroo needs new braincells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo tries to think but alas when you strike burnt matches together it won't lead to anything. And then we have Kags.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOC-ness galore

“-o apologize for speaking the tru-! What the-! He cut the call!”

Kuroo couldn’t believe it.

“Of course he did you- you idiot!”

“Et tu Kenma!?”

Kenma swatted away the hand coming for his head, “This isn’t the time for jokes! Call back and apologize, properly.”

“I can’t- why are you guys being so difficult?”

What was so tough about this situation, Kuroo couldn’t understand.

He sighed to himself. When the truth will come out both of them would realize that all he wanted was to not let them get hurt, what was so wrong with that? He could bet that that Karasuno first year must’ve run away to some relative or someone’s place, laughing evilly as he fantasized about Hinata coming crawling back to him.

Like hell was Kuroo going to allow that fantasy to turn into reality. If he had to play the bad guy then so be it.

He was so astounded at the way no one seemed to agree with him. Wasn’t it evident enough, the lack of maturity the setter had? Even at the camp and training sessions every time Kuroo’s gaze had drifted over to him he was either screaming at his team (Hinata) or glaring at whoever seemed to fall into his sight.

Adding onto that, before he had finally decided to ask Hinata out with Kenma he had taken advantage of the opportunity and pulled Tsukishima aside, his freckled friend following along as the constant tag along. Well, Kuroo hadn’t minded, the more sources the better.

He wasn’t an idiot, he knew that the break up was kind of fresh so he had to do some information gathering to decide if the time was right or not.

So he had inquired, probing as deep as he could, and the answers he had received weren’t the most stellar. And when the same sentiments had been reflected by everyone on the group chat around that time, yeah, Kuroo had gotten a decent enough idea of the other’s character.

Kenma spluttered where he was sitting, near fumbling with his console at the stupidity that had left his partner’s mouth, “We are being difficu- Kuroo I-,” sighing, he drew his hand down his face, at a loss for words, “Look,” he began, putting his console aside for a moment, “I admit it, I uh agree with you okay? He wasn’t the best person, I guess…Heck I was the one who put that absurd idea in your head, but…you have to understand okay? We don’t know if he is well alive? Or hurt?”

He peered up at the other’s face, continuing when he ascertained that Kuroo was actually listening, “And we can’t be sure that he did that because he wanted to hurt Shouyou…”

“Oh yeah, can you think of any other reason?” Kuroo shot back, sitting down on his bed with a huff.

Kenma could only glower in reply.

“See!”

.

.

.

“What if I ran away and someone from other team said its good because I’m always so la-,”

Kuroo shot up from where he was laying on his bed, looking incredulously at the other boy sitting curled up over his gaming console, “What the-?”

“Would you be okay with tha-,”

“Of course not! Kenma what has gotten into you-!”

“Then why are you expecting them to be okay with what you said you- you idiot!”

“Because- because…Oh you know why!”

“Kuroooooo, what has gotten into your head? Aaah,” sighing in frustration Kenma stood up from and started gathering his stuff.

“What are you doing?”

“Going home,”

“What- Why?”

Fixing the other with a stern glare Kenma replied in a tone that eerily reminded Kuroo of his father when he got angry, “You need to use your brain and think, for real. I can’t handle your stupid ass any more for today, see you tomorrow.”

“Oi- Ken- wait!”

* * *

Tobio felt like his body was floating around. He was finding it increasingly harder to focus on what was happening around him; at times he felt like he was unbearably hot and the next his body was shivering from cold. Sometimes he felt as if he was baking in a brightly lit oven, his skin dry and itchy and the next he would find himself in a dark haze, broken murmurs running circles inside his head.

Barely a few hours ago, the man who had apparently saved him came and visited. Tobio had felt as fine as every day at that point in time, properly expressing his gratitude to the man with his parents. They had even held a light conversation, and Tobio had felt fine, even contributing once or twice.

But then the man had left, his father walking him out and Tobio was left alone in his room with his mother who was sitting by the window, a good distance away from his bed. He had tried to call for her, letting out raspy sounds that left the word barely legible enough to be identified, yet she hadn’t turned to face him, showed no sign of acknowledgment.

That’s when this heavy feeling had slowly started dripping down from his head and through his whole body. He was still trying to call for her attention when his body went lax against the raised bed, dragged into a deep slumber.

And in the beginning, it was okay, he was asleep, he needed it, it was good; yet somewhere in the middle, something had woken him up just enough that he could feel his surroundings but not really be conscious.

It was a scary limbo, and he was unable to find a way to leave. He didn’t understand what was happening, everything was so fluid, so hazy, so incomprehensible.

He wanted to go back; back to his parents, back to safety, to certainty. Wherever this was, it was slowly and gradually driving him into a panic.

Occasionally he would feel something touch him, move his limbs around, and sometimes garbled voices would come and go, the words too illegible to even try to make sense of what was being said.

Tobio didn’t know how long he was there, in that place but when he found his eyes opening after some unspecified amount of time he couldn’t help but let out a little cry of relief internally. His body felt uncomfortably warm and as his senses slowly returned he could feel a damp cloth on his forehead, signaling the fact that he had developed a fever.

His surroundings were dark and curtains were drawn up around his bed, separating him from the general expanse of the room. He could vaguely hear the sound of light snores coming from the other side of the curtain, possibly his mother.

Slowly sitting up, he couldn’t help but shudder as wisps of his experience in that floaty space assaulted his brain. He would rather not sleep right now if he could help it. But sitting alone without anything to do sounded somehow more painful than that.

Shuffling around in his hospital beddings, Tobio let his eyes wander around, accustomed enough to the light throbbing headache thudding through his skull that it didn’t bother him much. Spotting the bedside table, he gently leaned over, fiddling with the stuff on it to see if anything worth his interest was around.

When his eyes fell on his father’s phone he suddenly remembered his own missing device. Oh crap, he thought to himself. He could only hope he hadn’t managed to lose it somewhere along the way, his wallet with his IDs too. It would be too much of a hassle if he had to get everything remade.

Spotting the drawers built into the compact table, he tried to open it with his bent body but had to change tactics when his hurt shoulders and arms protested fiercely. Taking some time to give them the rest they deserved, he gently lowered his body till he was laying stomach down on the bed, taking care not to rough up the bedding or accidentally dislodge the drip stuck in his forearm.

The skin on his fingers was all scabbing over, making it unnecessarily difficult to get a hold of the handle without accidentally ripping open a little wound or two. Sleeping in the sea wasn’t a good idea at all. Finally, the drawer opened and he nearly cheered out loud at what he found if not for his mother’s snore reminding him of the time. Pulling out the device and breathing a sigh of relief when he found his wallet in the drawer too, Tobio made himself as comfortable as he could before pressing the power-up button.

Grinning to himself when he noticed that the battery was at a decent level he let himself relax against his pillows, too happy at finding his belongings to think why maybe using his phone wasn’t such a good idea.

When the device loaded up and got connected with the service provider it suddenly blew up with one notification after the other. It was so sudden that the barrage of sounds had left him reeling for a few precious moments before he could collect his wits enough to silence the phone. He sat completely still with bated breath, only relaxing when he heard the light snores continue.

The last thing he wanted was to get caught being a “bad brat” as if he hadn’t already done that enough.

Looking at the numerous missed calls, notably from his teacher, he felt his chest start to tighten up. From what exactly? He didn’t know.

But slowly, the real magnitude of what he had done in that one stupid moment was settling on his shaking shoulders, threatening to crush him under its weight.

Oh God, he was trapped wasn’t he? What was he going to do? He had- he had messed up so bad. Breathing roughly Tobio cleared all the notifications, his whole body slowly filling with an overwhelming sense of “I fucked up”.

Earlier he was way too ignorant, indulging himself in the safe haven he didn’t deserve, allowing himself to feel as if it was okay now. But it wasn’t; it was far from okay. He couldn’t help the small whine that slipped through his tightly closed lips, his whole body overcome with tremors of whose origin he was unsure of. Like uninvited guests on a buffet night, he could feel tears start to dribble down his face in quick succession. He had no idea what he was going to do anymore…

What had he done?

Sucking in huge gulps of shuddering breaths he slowly went through all the missed call records, his blood growing colder the longer the list went on. Switching to the chatting app the top notifications were from that chat group, the one which had led him to contemplate leaving volleyball altogether on occasion. Honestly, if not for his grandfather’s memories, maybe he would have…

Shaking his head, he squeezed his tear-filled eyes closed and tapped on the chat, allowing himself a few moments to gather his wits before he was confronted with a barrage of bitter truths others had to write about him.

Oh, he thought almost humorlessly, there were a lot. A lot more than he had anticipated. Barely had he passed through the wall of remarks on his kingly appetite when he was near shot in the face with an overly glowing declaration of love, between the Nekoma captain, setter, and…Hinata.

Huh, he didn’t quite feel, anything. It stung somewhere deep inside but he wasn’t so dumb as to think the orange-haired decoy would ever waste another chance on Tobio. Why do, when he had so many competent pursuers?

He couldn’t resist the bodily flinch when he saw a particular message by Tsukishima, no surprise there, claiming if anyone spots the ‘king’ crying about his failed romance, to get a picture for him.

At this point, Tobio had faultily thought that he was used to Tsukishima’s unnecessarily pointed remarks, at the ‘lol’s and ‘sksks’s that often followed, more or less by the members of his _team_ , but now that he found himself sitting curled up over his phone, barely suppressing the emotions rushing to break his threshold, he couldn’t help but think how wrong he had been. They affected him, too much for his own comfort and sanity.

Not bothering to compose himself any longer, Tobio scrolled down, quickly skimming over the texts. A voice of reason in the back of his head was yelling at him to stop, to not willingly do something that was affecting him so negatively. Yet…he couldn’t stop. There was this carnal need inside him to know what was being said about him, what more faults he had. He needed to _know,_ even if it came at a heavy cost.

He rushed past all the memes, not feeling like indulging in anything happy, slowing down when he saw a couple of messages mentioning his name. Reading them he understood that this was when they had possibly found out about his shameful act of escape.

Squirming in displeasure Tobio continued down the thousands of messages, his tired eyes doing their best to not blur up what they were reading.

Huh, things seemed pretty normal in the group chat, he noticed with a pang of hurt before berating himself for being so needy. They weren’t his friends, of course, they wouldn’t be bothered by his little stunt. Heck, he didn’t know the majority of these people.

Rubbing his eyes, he sighed and leaned back on his pillows, trying to make his body relax.

He was near successful when his eyes fell upon a certain line of words strung together in a manner he had never thought he would read. His breath hitched in his throat, coming out in the form of a wet sob.

Did they really think he was such a bad person? Was he so bad? Creepy, possessive? They thought he had done this blackmail Hinata? To do what? Why would he…but they really thought so, and they were _his_ new boyfriends…so, did Hinata also? Was that what they all believed he would do?

Reading the message about him seeking the aid of online mediums Tobio couldn’t help but let out a silent scream, biting his arm to keep it inside. That was something intimate, something he had told Hinata in a moment of vulnerability, that was him admitting his weakness, his incompetence.

And now everyone knew, like all other insecurities of his. Just another one to add to the collection.

Wasn’t that exactly all he was, a laughing stock? To pull around, poke, and incite into putting up embarrassing displays which they then further used to…to…hurt him.

Smothering his face in a pillow he let his tears fall out, uncaring of the way he dislodged any gauze or pulled on any bruises. His heart hurt so bad.

They didn’t care if he was dead or alive, all they knew was that he was a bad person, bad enough to emotionally manipulate someone whom he used to call his friend. But maybe not. Maybe the way Hinata had pitied him and agreed to date him, maybe their friendship had been born out of pity for poor idiot Kageyama too.

Wasn’t that the reason why he never seemed to bother to aid him in fending off Tsukishima and the others in the chat? Maybe Hinata also laughed with them, maybe everyone did, laughing at the dumb uncrowned King, at his stupidity, at what a loser he was, how inferior he was.

Sniffling, he held the device as steady as he could before typing up a simple message and sending it,

Kageyama T.: im sorry

_Kageyama T has left the chat_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not proofread and time may only get lengthier TwT uni has picked up pace way too fast.


	13. weird chap ft tsuki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsuki session

“Ah Tsukishima-kun, thank you for joining us today.”

Taking a seat in the empty chair Kei couldn’t help but regret being cajoled by Yamaguchi’s words last night. Apparently, they had all received some long guidance session which, in his opinion, sounded like a load of steaming hot bullshit. He couldn’t understand why everyone was so hellbent on making a mountain out of a molehill. Heck Yamaguchi had started going all sappy and guilty on him on the call; Kei highly suspected the other was moments away from crying like the little crybaby he was.

Takeda sensei had requested Yamaguchi to act as the messenger between them, asking him to urge Kei to come to school and he was loathed to admit that his urging had worked. In his defense, he would rather get it over with quickly than drag on the inevitable. Lord knows he doesn’t want the King’s stupidity influencing his own freedom.

Hence here he was, sitting in front of two adults who were obviously trying to look as if he wasn’t in any trouble. Did they seriously take him for an idiot?

“Coach Ukai is in the process of getting you a formal leave from your early classes so you won’t need to worry about them and Yamaguchi-kun has volunteered to get notes and any assignments for you, so I hope you won’t have much trouble catching up with today’s lessons,”

Of course, he won’t, Kei quipped mentally, he actually studies unlike certain elements of the Volleyball club.

Takeda continued on, sitting up straighter in his chair, “I would like to apologize for any trouble you might face, though I feel that this is a necessary conversation all of us need to have.”

Before the teacher could continue on and on, Kei decided to cut to the chase, not exactly feeling comfortable being treated like some culprit, “This is about Ou-sa-uh Kageyama, right sensei? Am I in trouble or something..?”

Takeda looked a bit perturbed at being interrupted but nodded nonetheless, “Yes Tsukishima-kun, it is, and to give you an update Kageyama-kun was found yesterday and is in safe hands,”

Kei simply nodded, not acknowledging the feeling of something loosening inside his gut, too prideful to admit that there was a part of him that felt relieved.

“Yamaguchi-kun would’ve given you a brief rundown of the situation though I would like to restate the reason behind why we have requested a meeting with you-“ pausing abruptly Takeda shot an apologetic smile to his companion who was sitting quietly all this time, “Ah, right this is Koyuki-sensei, he is a counselor at the school and he will be having a little session with you, as will everyone else gradually,”

Kei muttered a quiet greeting, already aware of the other’s identity courtesy of his proclaimed best friend. He half tuned out of the conversation when Takeda-sensei started listing out the reasons he was there. Kei already knew why he was there, no need for his teacher to go around the bush and elongate the conversation more than it needed to be. He could handle blunt truths, he didn’t need to be treated by kiddy gloves unlike the King or that orange-haired menace who go butthurt over the littlest of things.

“…group chat, and we would like to discu…”

Oh yeah, here it was, Kei muttered to himself, already done with the conversation. He knew he was going to be labeled as some instigator of some bullying, labeled rude or the like. Honestly, they should be talking with the King first, the dumb nutcase who got triggered by some sarcasm and jokes.

And if they were going to get on his case anyway, shouldn’t they first go and talk with those people from other schools? They actively humiliated the runaway teen in middle school, isn’t that bullying? Why were they trying to police him over his sense of humor? It wasn’t his fault that the King wouldn’t understand humor even if it bashed him right in the face.

Sighing he nodded in all the appropriate places, wanting to get this circus over with as quickly as possible. He had downloaded a new audiobook yesterday and damn was he looking forward to listening to it.

“…leaving you with Koyuki-sensei, Tsukishima-kun.”

Huh? Was he supposed to get some intense lesson I bullying and how he ‘hurt’ King?

Once Takeda left Koyuki arranged his chair so he was sitting directly in front of Kei with only a small table with some papers separating them.

“Nice to meet you Tsukishima-kun! How has your day been?”

Like shit but alas he couldn’t voice out his true thoughts.

“Fine.”

“Hmhm? Takeda sensei informed me that you hadn’t been feeling well recently, may I ask how you’re doing today? Are you feeling well?”

Kei simply nodded, not at all interested in what the other had to say. He knew what he was going to get, no need for the other man to don all this sweet façade like he gave a shit about him.

“Oho I see, though please don’t hesitate to inform me if you happen to feel unwell, okay?”

Every second seemed like an hour as Kei waited in anticipation for the counselor to get done with his small talk routine.

“Okaaay, so before we begin I would like to inform you that conversation we are going to have will remain confidential between you and the school. Sadly I can’t falsely promise you full confidentiality as I’m required to report to the higher-ups and in certain cases, your caretakers, but I can promise you that all details will be protected inside this room and they will only be provided a gist of what happened, is that okay with you Tsukishima-kun?”

Scrutinizing the older man’s face Kei couldn’t help but feel a sapling of trust slowly growing inside him, appreciative of the other’s truthfulness. Though on the other hand he also couldn’t help but think how and what he might say that could get a stain on his immaculate school record.

He jerked a little in surprise when a form of sorts and a pen were passed over to his side on the table.

“Please take your time to read through this document; it highlights the details of confidentiality that we will be adhering too. Your anonymity will be maintained to an extent; sadly the school system still lags behind in bringing its implementation up to the desired mark.”

He sure hoped it would be maintained, Kei didn’t want to be called out for being a crazy nutcase or have rumors about him trying to kill himself going around the school. Some people really did leave their brains in their middle school phase.

Filling up the form quickly Kei slid it back to the counselor, wishing he could just leave and head home.

Maybe he should use the sick card again…

The counselor started talking about how they were going to focus on his feelings, his thoughts, no blame game, and all Kei wanted to do was scoff at the absurdity of it. He didn’t want to waste his precious time talking about how not guilty he was and then be guilt-tripped. It wasn’t his fault that the King was an asshole to his middle school friends, and if he wanted to make him realize his fault then so what?

The way he went around all self-important and proud grated Kei’s nerves; thinking he was all high and mighty just because he could throw a ball or two.

“…Tsukishima-kun?”

Ah crap, Kei forgot about the other’s existence for a moment there, “Yes?”

“Yes, I just wanted to ask if you’ve been enjoying your club activities?”

What kind of question was that? Clearing his throat Kei sat up a little, making direct eye contact with the other person, “Look sensei, you don’t have to go around beating the bush. I know this is related to Ou-sam-Kageyama so can we please be done with it? Just tell me what I did wrong and if I am getting any punishment,”

Koyuki held the eye contact for a bit before smiling lightly, “’Ou-sama’ was it? Is this a nickname you guys have for Kageyama-kun?”

Kei suspected if the man was as airheaded as he looked. There was no way he would’ve been informed about them and the King’s notorious status NOT being brought up, “Um yeah, his old team called him that, King of the Court,”

“Oho? ‘King of the Court’? That sounds like Kageyama-kun was a notable player in his early years too!”

Heh, ‘notable’ he said? More like notorious.

“Maybe…it was because he was so bossy and autocratic, always yelling orders, never listening..,”

“Ahh so King in that sense, I see.”

“Yeah…”

The counselor nodded his head a few times, seemingly digesting the new information, “How does playing with him now feel for you Tsukishima-kun?”

“Irritating,”

It was an impulsive response and Kei couldn’t help but cringe at the figurative grave he had dug for himself.

“Irritating?”

Well, the deed was done. Maybe he should just go with the flow and let the other hear what he wanted to.

“Yeah. He is all ugh he is just irritating, okay?”

“And has this impacted your relations with your team members, not being able to get along well with Kageyama-kun?”

“Hmm, not really…he is just…Okay, just seeing his face every morning makes me feel like hitting myself with a volleyball just so I can skip practice,”

“Hmhm that sounds like you have really strong emotions regarding Kageyama-kun, would you like to elaborate on it?”

“I mean, okay, so you know he has this feeling about him? How he thinks that he is so good, so much more than us, like is he expecting us to grovel at his feet and worship him because he knows how to throw a ball or two?”

“Uh-huh, you feel that he looks down on you guys?”

Kei had to take a pause there, ruffling through his thoughts for the answer he was seeking.

“Um yes, I think…he always has. And the way he yells, like he won’t even look who it is and he will get all angry and start yelling! Who does he even think he is?? We aren’t his slaves or something!”

“Hmhm,”

“And-and he is always so painfully out of place its-its disgusting, it makes my blood boil! I mean who is stupid enough to ditch a whole camp in the middle of the night, crying like a baby because their romance got cut short?? And why are we being questioned huh? It isn’t my or anyone else’s fault that the King can’t handle his own fragile sensibilities!”

.

.

.

It was an hour and a half later that Kei realized he had unlocked all his dams.

Dang these counselors and their stupid calm voices.

* * *

Himari didn’t know what to do anymore. Or more like she knew what she wanted to do but apparently, according to her husband, it wasn’t the right time to do it.

But when would be the right time? When Tobio decided to throw another fit and run away?

Her friends all had their own tales with their teenage children, all worse than the last one. She didn’t want Tobio to become a tale of warning, of caution, to parents.

So she waited for her husband to leave the room to collect a meal for them before she acted on her plan.

Tobio had been asleep with a mild fever whole of the morning and a good chunk of the afternoon but luckily he was awake now, groggily eating his prescribed meal set.

The coast was clear. She wasn’t going to get a better opportunity any time soon so she had to make the most of it.

“Tobio.”

Her son turned his head to face her, his cheeks flushed red but the rest of his face looking wane and grey. Maybe she should reconsider..?

No, she had to do it. It was for the betterment of their family.

“Tell me, why did you do it,”

Even though it was framed like a question, both occupants of the room were well aware that it was more order of action.

Tobio paused, or froze in time more like, looking almost stupidly at her. Ugh, she had hoped at least one of her children won’t be a slow idiot.

“Tobio.”

“I- mum-,”

And there he went again, stuttering. Didn’t he know how bad it would look in front of his future employers if he messed up such simple inquiries? Himari had made sure to teach both her kids the effective ways to get themselves across to others but sadly she hadn’t had as much time with Tobio as she got with Miwa.

Was this her fault too? Had her lack of teaching made her son a fumbling mess?

“Speak clearly,”

But his body language only seemed to get worse.

“I-uh-I’m sorry- I-,”

She didn’t want to hear any more sorries, any more grunts of pain, anymore cries; why couldn’t he just tell her what had happened? Was he hiding something? Had he done something so bad that he had to run away…was he even looking forward to being found or…

“To-bi-o!”

He visibly flinched, sending a shot of guilt tearing through her gut but this had to be done. Soothing herself with this thought she persevered, “What did you do? Why did you run away like that- Can’t you even trust your own mother!?”

Only silence greeted her.

Her son wasn’t even meeting her gaze anymore, resolutely looking down at the half-empty tray in front of him.

That broke something inside her.

“You don’t, do you? Heck, do you even care one bit for me? For your father? Because if you did then you won’t do something as stupid and crazy as that!”

Unable to handle the silent treatment anymore she surged forward almost unconsciously and turned him to face her, looking straight into Tobio’s shaking eyes, “Why did you do IT? Why won’t you speak!?”

“You- you could’ve called me, called your father- Miwa was right there! But did you do it? No! Why, huh? Why!? Of course, because you don’t- you- Why Tobio?”

“I- I’m sorry! I am! I am really sorry!” Tobio nearly screamed out, trying to lean into his mother’s arms only to be held away. He looked up at her tear-stained face, watching as she shook her head at him and slowly removed her arms from his, backing away till she was exiting the room itself, leaving him alone with his thoughts and frenzied feelings.

.

.

.

Why did he do it, he asked himself. And he knew the answer but how could he tell her that all the friends he had boasted about were fragments of his hopes, all the caring senpais in middle school were just fantasies he had imagined while hiding away in the club room?

How could he?

And now when had found some respite, a place to belong, it was just as easily snatched away?

How could he tell her that she had given birth to a failure who couldn’t even hold one decent conversation?

Would she disown him right on the spot if he told her he ran away because he couldn’t handle the gazes, the scorns, the whispers, the public humiliation? How would she feel if he told her that her son was a laughingstock among the high school volleyball teams, known far and wide for his shitty personality and inability to be a decent human? His sets and serves being reduced to a simple afterthought.

Will his parents even care for him anymore? Or will they take him and ditch him back in Miyagi before washing their hands off of him…like they always did.

.

.

.

Tobio missed his grandfather a lot, especially in hard times like these.

Especially now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmmm this was a pretty eh chap ig? have the gift ehhe  
> like holy wow guys THE SUPPORT ON LAST CHAPTER WAS THROUGH THE ROOOD I SCREAMED AND THEN CRIED IN FRONT OF ALL MY FRIENDS LOLOLO THANK YOU!!!! :D   
> I honestly wanted to explore more into Tsuki but tbh I got tiirreedddddd and then I was like nah cant handle abort mission shift pov heheh  
> not proofread TuT


	14. Keeping Up With The Kageyamas pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family Fist Fights uwu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long ass note at the end hehehe

> VolleyBlokes <

Kindaichi Kitadai1: wtf after all that drama

Shittykawa: TOBIO CHAN NO

Kindaichi Kitadai1: thats what he does

Iwaizumi H: at least we know he is okay

Iwaizumi H: Kindaichi

KarasunoShorty: ILL DECK YOU TURNIP HEAD

Iwaizumi H: Meet me in the club room @Kindaichi Kitadai1

Nekoma Captain: Oya oya?

Nekoma Captain: Tangerine kun youll talk here but not in out gc?

Nekoma Captain: im huuurttt :”((((

983938299222: wow thank you for being so lowkey

Nekoma Captain: Kennmmaa stoppp

.

* * *

.

> Oikawa-san <

Oikawa-san: oi

Oikawa-san: tobio chaaann

Oikawa-san: are you awaakeee

Oikawa-san: Toobbbiiiooooo ccchhhaannnnnnn

Missed call at 15:32

Oikawa-san: your caring senpai is here pick up phoneee

Oikawa-san: listening to my voice will cure you in seconddsss

Missed call at 15:34

Oikawa-san: To

Oikawa-san: Bi

Oikawa-san: Ooooooooooo

Oikawa-san: chan!

Missed call at 15: 37

Oikawa-san: rude brat hmph

Oikawa-san: anyways be well so I can beat you fair and square mwhehhehe

Oikawa-san: and

Oikawa-san: sont TAKR IT FOR GRANTED

Oikawa-san: ILL ONLY SAY IT BECAUSE YORE A STUPID BRAT

Oikawa-san: im glad you are okay

Oikawa-san: SEE HOW NICE IM NOW DON’T COMPLAIN TP IWA CHAN BYE

.

.

Missed call at 16:03

Oikawa-san: sleep well brat

….

* * *

Calling…

Kageyama Tobio

.

Missed call at 19:06

.

Calling…

Kageyama Tobio

.

Call connected

.

“Ah! I-uhm- Kageyama?”

“…”

“This is Kageyama’s number, right?”

“…senpai?”

“Kageyama! Oh my- Ahh-I- I’m Asahi if you didn’t have my number saved I-uh…,”

“…I…senpai, yes I’ve your number saved- It’s my senpai, from volleyball club- Sorry, my father was wo-curious yeah…uhm,”

“Ahh I’m so glad you’re oka- wait, sorry, I didn’t even ask you yet I- Ahhh! Sorry!”

“Umm it’s okay senpai, I am doing okay, uh thank you for uh your worr- consideration,”

“Hmhm this is the least of the least I should do…”

“Ah…”

“…”

“…”

“Kageyama…”

“Ah-yes? Senpai?”

“I know that doing it over the phone isn’t appropriate, nor is it good but I really really don’t think that delaying the overdue would be good at all…”

“…”

“Kageyama, I’m…”

“…”

“…I-.”

“..senpai?...are you okay?”

“I- I’m so so sorry, I am really just…so sorry. I-I was so self-involved I never…I never did anything that would make me…make me your senpai, really…I am..”

“Senpai what a-,”

“I never did anything when it would’ve mattered the most Kageyama-kun…senpai…what senpai? I wasn’t even a decent acquaintance I am just so…ashamed of myself? At this moment I can’t believe I let it all happen…right in front of my eyes!”

“…”

“If I was a good senpai…I would’ve been someone whom you could’ve reached out to…but I never was, and I see that now and-and I still have to think more, see it more…and…and…”

“…senpai…I…”

“That’s why I wanted to apologize to you; I won’t go ahead and say I fully see and understand the things I could’ve done right, and…and neither do I expect forgiveness you know, I just…I felt-knew that this is what I should do…admit my faults…I’m sorry, I just- would you be comfortable talking with me Kageyama-kun? I know I should’ve asked this beforehand I just…”

“I- of course, senpai! It’s- it’s- I- I should be the one- the one apologizing I- I am,”

“No! I mean-no Kageyama, it's not- like okay yes running away like that could’ve gotten you- I mean it HAS got you hurt, and yeah but I- I can try to understand okay- like- ahh I don’t know if I’m making sense? But…but…Ah, okay, like- we went through the chat okay?”

“…”

“We- I- I read through it all, again and, I don’t blame you, not even a little, okay? I would’ve probably…maybe…done the same because- because it was…ahh…it was so bad and no one, not me, not anyone, tried to even talk to you once, to just ask how was your day…and I…yeah, I really don’t blame you…not one bit.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Kageyama-kun?”

“I-I have to go, sorry senpai.”

“Ah- Um take ca-,”

Call disconnected

“-re…”

…

Sigh…

* * *

.

.

“Wasn’t that your senpai from school Tobio?”

“Ah uhm yes?”

“Is that how you thank them for their consideration? Cutting the call off like that hmm?”

Kaito was half-focused on the email he was typing on his phone, not directly looking at his son.

“…”

“Tobio?”

Still not receiving any reply, he glanced up from his phone. Tobio was sitting silently, fiddling with his turned off in his lap, not looking exactly keen about engaging in a discussion for basic manners.

“Are you ignoring me kid, don’t want to talk?”

Immediately his son’s head shot up, his eyes significantly more alert and a bit…panicked? Was this what people constantly referred to as the deer caught in headlights look?

“Ah..! No! I mean dad, I was no- I…”

“Hm? Tobi-,”

“It’s no use, apparently we didn’t teach him to speak well.”

Kaito couldn’t for the life of him figure out what his wife had gotten all snippy all of a sudden for. Just a day back and she was fine, albeit worried out of her wits, as was he himself, then they had found their son, and all was well. But then suddenly she had started getting all angry?

“Himari- what? Of course, he can just give him some time, would you? Don’t discourage him like this.”

She looked at him for a couple of seconds, her face impassive. So, he returned the look, only to be caught off guard by his phone ringing.

His co-worker.

Even after telling them that he had to look after his son and was going to be unavailable, all they had done was bother him with calls all day for the littlest of things. Glancing once at his son who was sitting all bunched up in his hospital clothes and blankets, he left the room to attend the call.

Of course, it couldn’t have been so simple. Of course, his wife had to send him her customary “work so important family who” look. He halted his steps a bit as he passed her, wanting to rebuke, tell her that he couldn’t do anything, that he was helpless, and that hey, you do the same.

But he couldn’t, not when his phone was consistently ringing in his hand, a glaring beacon of his pre-occupation with his occupation. Ha.

* * *

Being out again definitely felt weird.

Tobio had thought they would keep him in the hospital for at least a week or so because isn’t that what they do in movies? Yet here he was, cushioned up on the back seat of his father’s car listening to the sweet music of his mother and father being shady as fuck.

He was honestly so so tired of all this crap.

He couldn’t understand why in the world was his mother being so…so rude to him? Did she hate him now because he did such a big fuck up?

All he wanted to do was to fall asleep, escape this torrent of not so good feelings threatening to overtake whatever snippets of sanity and hope he had tried to force himself to gain.

But it was slowly draining out as the influx of bitter words started overpowering his mind again.

“What!? So now it's MY fault that Miwa decided to leave?”

“Well of course? Weren’t you the one who constantly opposed her wearing this and that? Why else do you think she got fed up and left huh?”

Ah, here they go again. Always the Miwa thing, always the other one’s ‘fault’.

“Maybe because her mother kept constantly harping on and on about her not taking care of her brother hmm? Like come on Himari, do you honestly think she would decide to leave just because of some ground rules? Or if someone tried to belittle her at everything she did?”

“Oh, so me trying to help her learn became berating huh? At least she can cook for herself, do her laundry, and that’s all thanks to you right, the father on the other side of the phone, hmm!?”

“Nitpicking all the things she overlooked and not even saying one good job doesn’t equal learning you know?”

“Wha- So now you will decide how I should talk to MY children?”

“What th- Don’t put words in my mouth!”

“Huh!? Then what did you mean!? Honestly, all the decisions you’ve made about our lives have been one mistake after another so I would say, don’t.”

“First of all, they’re OUR childr-!”

“No all you’ve ever done is enable them! Why do you think Tobio had the guts to pull a stunt like what he did huh!?”

Tobio really didn’t want to be here. Why couldn’t his mother see that his dad was driving, why couldn’t they just do this somewhere where he had the option of escaping?

“Because YOU, ALWAYS LET THEM BE! You never step up when it's needed, a tap on the wrist and done, punished, forgiven, done deal till they do something else. Seriously…”

“So now this is my fault too huh? Why not add some more to the list while you’re at it huh? Because you’re never at fault, you’ve never made a SINGLE wrong decision, have you? Oh no, how could I even dare to think that great Himari would ever make a mistake.”

He wanted to leave, he couldn’t bear it.

“Tobio.”

Tobio jolted in his seat, looking up to see his mother’s stone-cold eyes staring at him through the rearview mirror.

“Care to tell me now why you did what you did, or am I still not worthy of respect in your book hm?”

Tobio felt his chest freeze, unable to think, much less even begin to formulate a reply.

“Tobio!”

“Don’t yell at him!”

“You don’t interrupt! I’m talking with my son here! You can’t control how I talk with my children!”

“Himari I swear to God just shut-,”

“Tobio! I asked you something, didn’t I!? Or will you only reply when your father asks huh?”

Oh save him, someone just save him. He didn’t want to be here, he was scared.

He didn’t know what to do, what to say. His mother was so, so angry, what should he do, what could he do?

“Mama I-I just- just wanted to,”

What had he wanted…to escape, to not be smothered under hate, to…

“I le-left because- because-,”

“Tobio don’t test my patience anymore I’m telling you you won’t like what happens ne-,”

“Yeah right threaten him when he has barely even begun to recover, good job in being the number one mother in the world,”

Tobio unconsciously relaxed a bit when his mother’s murderous glare shifted to his father who impassively looked straight ahead on the road, though the way he was gripping the steering wheel gave away just exactly how unaffected he was.

But the glare was back near-instantly, causing him to tense up which bothered his already injured muscles, a wince escaping his bitten lips.

Suddenly there was a hand gripping his forearm, literally pulling his attention back to the angry woman he called mother and she looked absolutely livid. One wrong word and he was definitely going to get a nice lesson.

“Himari what are you doin-!? Can’t you see I’m driving what the hell STOP IT!”

But she didn’t, her face covered in deep angry lines while she yelled at him to _speak_.

Oh no no no Tobio definitely didn’t like what was happening. He didn’t like it, he didn’t want to be here for it. He couldn’t take it, nope. Enough, enough, he didn’t want to be here, not when his mother kept pulling him harshly, her brain visibly taken over by her anger.

He didn’t know what was happening anymore. Everything was too much. Too much and not enough; all worthless; all there to hurt him.

He needed to escape.

So he did.

Unable to let his brain work rationally he unlocked the door, pulled the handle, and the door opened. He could vaguely hear his father screaming, his mother’s hand clutching tightly on his bandaged arm, but all he could think of at that moment was to escape.

Escape and disappear.

The tires’ screeched as his father applied breaks, swerving out of the traffic lane, barely avoiding a car nearly rear-ending theirs.

Tobio could smell the rubbery-smell of tires as he fell back against his seat, the hand on his arm disappearing somewhere along with the turn of events.

For a moment there was silence, only his father’s heavy breathing entering his ears.

Then-

“WHAT THE ABSOLUTE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!?”

Thinking? Of course, he wasn’t. Whenever he thought things, everything went bad. So he wasn’t going to think anymore.

He was done with this, with whatever this was. He vaguely registered as his father opened the door from the driver’s side, and his footsteps as they came up to the door Tobio was going to use. But that was it; nothing mattered anymore. He didn’t want it to matter.

Enough was enough.

Tobio had had enough.

So, he closed his eyes and simply laid there.

* * *

Kaito drove mindlessly, the previously volatile screaming reduced to a vacuum-like silence.

Tobio had…he had really tried to…

Maybe things weren’t even slightly alright, maybe everything was way, way worse than what he had deluded himself into believing.

He glanced back at his son every so often, checking up on him only to be confronted by the same unchanging sight: Tobio curled up on the back seat, listlessly staring at some fixed point on the car’s floor.

He had just…shut down. Seeing him like that had chilled something inside Kaito, giving rise to certain unpleasant thoughts and feelings, those that he definitely didn’t want to think about when driving.

Himari was being…weird, to say the least. Or was she always like this…

It has been so long since they actually _met_ ; has she changed so much? Or was he blind to this side of hers before? Given they had had some (many) tough binds over the years, but this was ludicrous. Tobio was still running a slight fever, weak, hurt, yet all she could do was scream at him. That’s no way to treat a kid, even if he was an idiot. Kaito understood somewhat, what she might be feeling; he was angry too, disappointed, confused, shocked but reacting like that was inexcusable.

And Tobio, Kaito couldn’t even begin to imagine what had happened that had led his kid to become like…this? Whenever they talked it was volleyball this, volleyball that, his cool senpai, the awesome senpai, so Kaito had thought things were going great there. Even earlier in the day, he got a call from his senpai, so school shouldn’t be the issue.

Was it outside school? Was he getting bullied? Or had a girlfriend? Break up?

If this was because of some high school fling then he would really need to have a talk with Tobio about priorities in life; he was only fifteen, it was no time to go searching for life partners and risking his own life when rejected. Now that he thought about this, one of his own co-worker’s teenage daughters had allegedly run away from home to live with the ‘love of her life’. Was that what his own son was trying to do too?

Exactly what kind of movies was he watching? It has been so long since Kaito got to visit their home, he didn’t even know what his kid liked to watch anymore…what a shame.

Sighing, he shot a side glance to his wife on the passenger seat only to see her silently crying.

“…Mari?”

Only a wet sniffle replied to his call. Pulling out some paper towels from the box in between the two sheets he offered them to her only for her to pull some out on her own and using them, leaving his offering hanging ignored.

Well, if she was going to act all prissy then who was he to care. Physically shaking his head to get rid of the irritation flooding inside his bloodstream, Kaito took a deep breath and focused on the road ahead.

There was still a long, long way to go.

.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehhehe such long wait ehhehehehehehhe *cries* POSTGRADUATION IS REALLY HARD AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH im tired 24/7 with no free time, constant influx of assignments, work and classes and uwu  
> sorry for the long wait TuT and i wont lie: this is how long it might take for future chapters too TuT because im literally typing near continuously for assignments and stuff and at the end of the day i dont have any mental or physical energy to invest in a fic like this one where im legit projecting stuff uwu  
> I wanted to give an insight into Himari but ahem....i kind of ended up basing her off ahem my own..mother?...so yeah i dont understand her and i cant so im like let her be an enigma uwu
> 
> THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE EVERYONEEE TUT luckily i have the basic plot line of the fic written down so I wont forget what exactly I wanna do ahhahahaha  
> and for those looking for tobio angst uwu go read rabiddog (? i hope i spelled it right Tut) 's fics theyre GLORIOUS AAAAAAAAA  
> I'm in love with Estrangement owo so angst so tasty  
> okie bye uwu


	15. Luke Warm Curd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things happen; kagemama is not endeavour dont fear dear fawns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've lost all braincells

The sky at dawn was so pretty, so hopeful…

Kaito wished he could relish in its peaceful beauty like he would have done in any other circumstances. Right now though his life was like a boat without oars stuck in the middle of a tropical storm, uncertainty, and anxiety slapping his sanity every which way.

The chirping birds, the bright yet cool sunshine, the dew on the grass, everything looked so out of the world, so far away from the dark place he was stuck in.

They had reached their home minutes before sunrise and getting their son situated ideally in his current state had taken a good amount of time. Last night’s frustrations and tiredness were certainly not helping him rear back bursts of anger from spilling through.

It wasn’t like he didn’t know his reactions weren’t exactly the best…he did. He regretted them, felt guilty, but at the moment he couldn’t control it.

He didn’t feel good snapping at his wife when she nagged at him for the littlest of things, didn’t like when he ended up brushing his kids away with stern jibes and glares. Hence he had tried working on it, on himself, yet here he was, sitting outside in their yard after another spat with his life partner.

He could only pray that Tobio wasn’t forced into wakefulness by their yelling or something. After what had happened in the car Kaito was scared, so deeply scared, of what his kid might do. He hadn’t expected him to do that, willingly risk his life like that, probably with the intent to…to…

Simply the thought of one day being confronted by the cold, still body of his own child had him gasping for air. That was something he had never thought he would have to one day contemplate as a parent of two healthy young adults. But to think his circumstances were so rotten…he couldn’t help but internally wail at the sheer wrongness of it all. This wasn’t what he wished for, what he wanted his reality to be like.

He just wanted to make a safe, happy life for his family, live in peace…was it too much to ask?

.

.

.

Miwa knew her family was far from the ideal mold often displayed in children’s books and shows. She was aware that things weren’t okay, and she had made peace with this fact long before she ditched her old family home to live in Tokyo.

She was okay, honestly, didn’t care much for whatever her parents decided to make a ruckus about, it wasn’t like she was confined to a chair as they soured the air with their caustic words like it used to happen before.

For her, life was going well.

Miwa was her own person now, slowly gaining stability as her career established its roots.

Hence nothing was going to stop her from jumping on the first train out of Tokyo, heading home after so long.

And barely three hours later here she was, standing in front of the house that saw her growing up. It was still pretty early and she heavily suspected her parents were asleep after having traveled all night long. That’s why instead of going the regular route via the door, she dragged her mini-suitcase through the yard and to the backyard entrance.

Putting her hand on the glass pane she applied a little push to the side, feeling triumph when it slid open soundlessly. She knew she could trust his mother’s forgetfulness with locking this side.

The house was dark…and so gloomy. It was a stark contrast from the chirpy, bright environment right outside the walls. Leaving her luggage resting against a wall, Miwa made her way inside.

It seemed like everyone was indeed asleep as she had assumed earlier. Skipping over checking up on her parents she directly went upstairs to where her and Tobio’s rooms were situated.

She needed to see the idiot with her own eyes and then smack him to the end of the planet for pulling shit like this. Didn’t he realize the danger he put himself in, how worried they were for him?

Though before she could fully climb up the flight of stairs, her mother’s surprised call of her name had Miwa near jumping out of her skin.

“Miwa, is that really you? Wha-whe-what??”

Oh crap, she really didn’t want to get lectured the first thing in the morning. Luckily for her though, her mother looked sleepy and surprised than in the mood for berating her. That was nice, Miwa could deal with this.

“Ah, mum! I, well, ahem, I came just now to- you guys really weren’t expecting me to stay in Tokyo, right? I NEEDED to come and see Tobi-,”

“You could’ve informed us Miwa. After what your brother did- never mind, go wash up before meeting him, he is sleeping right now anyway.”

Miwa could already hazard a decent guess at the shitstorm that would’ve gone down between the lot of them. Her mother wasn’t a bad person per se though Miwa definitely used to think so when she was younger, unknowing of the way an ‘adult’ perspective of the world worked.

Her mother wasn’t a bad person, she was just…a person. A person who had a tendency to nag, to constantly prattle about what others would say that certainly got annoying but deep down, Miwa had made peace with the fact that this is something she would have to bear through.

Tobio though, Miwa highly suspected he would come to a similar understanding any time soon. She was familiar with her mother’s vile tongue and explosive temper, of her penchant to take everything as a personal attack against herself, as if Tobio would do this simply as an act of rebellion against her. Hence, she understood it or at least hoped she does, that this was just how their mother was.

But Tobio didn’t; he barely had any chance to spend time with their mother to come to such an understanding.

With the way they had spent their life Miwa wouldn’t be wrong to say that she acted more as a mother figure for Tobio than their actual mother because she simply wasn’t there. That’s why she was well aware that Tobio wouldn’t do shit like this just as a big fuck you to their parents, that’s more of her own style.

He was way too naïve and, dare she admit, pure for that. All he had in his head was volleyball, volleyball, and volleyball. The worst act of rebellion, if he had to pull one, would most likely be drinking all the milk in the house so their parents would have to go without their coffee.

Making her way to the washroom, she made quick work of cleaning up her hands and face, having no intention of irritating her mother by dawdling around on the staircase. Miwa could vaguely hear her shuffling around in the kitchen area before the footsteps patted down the hallway, the light thud of a door closing signaling her likely departure to the realm of sleep.

Now clothes, that was an issue. Miwa wasn’t one for the extra effort in things that didn’t need much in the first place. As far as she remembered her closet here was barren and she frankly didn’t have the will nor the want to go and open her luggage for a simple t-shirt.

Her brother’s clothes would have to do then. And if her mother came out to interrogate her about her non-bathed state, well, she couldn’t expect Miwa to roam around naked now could she?

If she got a glimpse of his dumbass face then so what, that was simply a collateral advantage.

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> Sugawara-san <

Sugawara-san: Hi Kageyama-kun!

Sugawara-san: I hope youv’ve reached home safe

Sugawara-san: Takeda-sensei informed us that you would be heading home

Sugawara-san: take care of yourself your favorite senpai will come visit you soon ouo

Sugawara-san: I hope im not coming on too strong ah ahe janskk

Sugawara-san: ahem sorry

Sugawara-san: but yes, I hope we can talk once like

Sugawara-san: just a lil chat, if only you feel comfortable yeh?

Sugawara-san: <3 ^ u ^

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> Daichi-san <

Daichi-san: Hello Kageyama, I hope you’re recovering well

Daichi-san: I know we have greatly disappointed you, irrespective of what might actually have been the reason you left the camp that day

Daichi-san: as the captain of our team and your senpai I feel ive greatly let you down

Daichi-san: i have been ignorant, complacent and all around didnt make myself approachable and trustworthy enough for you to share your concerns with as I should have

Daichi-san: I dont want to continue making the same mistake

Daichi-san: thats why, and im aware im imposing myself on you, in future if you wish to

Daichi-san: would you allow me to properly express my apologies

Daichi-san: take care, I hope you are well again soon :D

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Family dinners at the Kageyama household weren’t a common affair. Unless there were special circumstances, all the members were either geographically disconnected or just preferred to eat at their own time.

This evening though was one of those special ones.

And Tobio wasn’t exactly hyped up for it.

He had woken up to his sister, surprise surprise, ruffling through his secret snack stash that he kept only for one of _those_ days. And then came the memories, the horrid damning memories of exactly what had happened on their way home and why he wasn’t so keen to face his parents, ever.

They were going to _maul_ him.

But when his father did finally appear in his room to check up on him, he was all awkward smiles and general worried-parent stuff, not one hint of anger. If that wasn’t surprising enough then here Tobio was, sitting in the seldomly used dining room, being spoon-fed congee by his mother because his arms weren’t exactly rising all that high without him hissing out curses.

She was silent but she was here; she wasn’t happy… but she wasn’t angry too.

Tobio was gobsmacked.

Did Miwa do something?

Glancing at his sister he didn’t find anything suspicious about her, aside from her general presence in the house.

This was weird, this was really weird.

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“Are we all going to keep ignoring the elephant in the room? Or are you going to explain yourself Tobio?”

He spoke too early.

“Let him finish eating first Mari, we can all talk later right?”

“No, stop, right there, no. I just…”

The room fell silent for a few tense moments. Tobio resolutely avoided looking at anyone, fiddling with the scabbing skin on his fingers.

“Eww stop that, I’m eating here dumbass,”

“Miwa,”

Heh, served her right but currently, Tobio had bigger fishes to battle, namely his mother. Now, Tobio understood her, objectively. He knew his parents were worried, heck his sister came all the way here dumping her University studies so near exams, all because of him.

And now he was scared because what would they do when he told them why he ran away, will they go away again? Will they hate him? Call him stupid? What will happen…should he tell them?

He didn’t want to, he really did not want to. All he wanted was to…escape, Tobio was scared, he didn’t know what was happening inside his chest, but he knew it was something he didn’t want to experience.

It was way too reminiscent of what had happened by the vending machine.

He didn’t feel good.

“Tobio,” his father began and Tobio knew this was it. This was the last time his family would ever be bothered to show up for him, they’ll know he really isn’t worth it.

He had caught snippets of their conversations, had a decent idea of what circumstances they had to rush from and in just so they could reach him, and for what? Because he couldn’t get along with others in the school?

“We care for you, yeah?”

Tobio followed his father with his eyes as the older man got up and moved to kneel near his chair, taking hands in his.

He wanted to cry.

Why were they being so nice, he didn’t want to experience this when he knew what he had to say will make them so, so disappointed in him.

“We just want to know…what happened Tobio? Why did you leave the camp like that? Weren’t you so excited to go there?”

“You literally begged me to sign the slip…so what happened?”

He could physically sense the way his mother’s eyes traveled across his face, trying to catch his eyes.

“The longer you stay silent the more it starts to feel like you did something wrong,”

He knew that he knew! But…but he didn’t know how to say, what to say, he didn’t want this! All he wanted was to not be there, to be away and safe, not be hated. Yet here he was, stuck.

Maybe it really was him…

“Tobio, please…”

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehehhehehehehheheh  
> p a i n  
> e x a m s  
> more p a i n  
> happy new year bubbles


	16. Keeping Up With The Kageyamas pt. 2 ft. Hinata

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stupid sandwish

Tobio did what he had been feeling like all this while: he exploded into a flurry of sobs and tears. He couldn’t stop even if he wanted to, not like he was going to try. All this while he had been feeling so hurt, so caged, helpless, trapped as if his whole existence was doomed to end. His head was constantly flooded with thoughts and not the good kind. He needed an outlet or he was going to _die_.

He could hear his family fumbling around him, his father holding his hands in his, gently rubbing his gauzed palms. Tobio hadn’t realized till now how much he had missed this, a gentle affection, a protective touch, he craved it; he felt starved.

“Tobio, breath baby, you’re hurting yourself,”

Gasping out sobs, he let his mother guide his head against her shoulder, uncaring if his wet face stained her clothes.

He didn’t want to lose this.

He had already lost his friends, his teammates, his grandfather forever; he didn’t want another addition to be made to the ever-growing list.

“I-I- I just wa-wanted…I-,” shaking his head in denial he let his father’s ministrations distract him from the anxious thoughts clouding his mind.

“Hmm, what did you want Tobi-chan, if you won’t let us know then how will we be able to help you?”

“I-I just- You’ll hate me!”

Taken aback at the unexpected declaration, the adults present in the room immediately responded with assurances, “Wha-! Of course, not! Tobio, we could never oh my lord, what are you saying?”

“Yeah, what the heck idiot. If I hated you, I won’t have dished out my own money to run he-,” “Miwa.” “Sorry sorry, but the point is we won’t, what-??”

Miwa wouldn’t lie and say she wasn’t worried; she was. But it was awkward for her, to openly show care. She sat a bit to the side, spectating as their father shushed and made her brother sip water. Tobio wasn’t a crybaby, heck she had seldom seen him cry at all. Watching him sob, his face red and wet from his own tears…she lowkey wanted to cry too, and the telltale signs of burning sensation in her own eyes conveyed that moment wasn’t that far away.

“I-I-Everyone hates me!”

What th- “Tobi-,”

“I’m weird a-and rude an-and bad- I’m a bad per-,”

“Who said so Tobio? You are not-,”

“-son and-and I hurt everyone! And they hate me, everyone hates me! I-,”

Miwa was going to deck them, whoever they were. She was going to maul them but before committing genocide she needed to know exactly whom she had to stab. How dare they- how dare they!

“Breathe Tobio, come on, drink some water, it’s okay, we are okay, yeah?”

Ah her father, always there with his trusty glass of water.

“All-all I wa-wanted was t-t-to play! I-I-,”

Her mother was holding Tobio tight but hadn’t said anything yet; that worried Miwa a bit. Usually, she was so outspoken about her thoughts on the ‘rightful’ actions, so this silence was kind of bugging her out.

“I do-don’t want to b-be hated anymoooree! I’m tired!”

Oh, fuck she was going to cry and then commit aggression arson.

“E-everyo-one says th-that I am n-not good and th-that- so I left! I w-wanted t-to c-come home…I di-did not want t-t-to be th-there…”

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.

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“And so you left hmm…”

Tobio only nodded, feeling his head throb from the upheaval of emotions and stress.

“…And in the car..?”

Oh…that was something he had done indeed.

“Umm…”

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.

“Leave it for now, okay? Let’s leave it…for now…”

Kaito felt hurt.

He felt disappointed, in himself.

His son was suffering, all this while. He thought of himself as a bad person, a person who is hated…who probably didn’t have any friends or people to spend quality time with.

He was all alone, all this time.

And he never ever brought this up, ever. That was just a testament to how much he had grown apart from his own children, Kaito thought, sighing to himself as he fetched some cloth towels to wet and wipe Tobio’s face.

He still had to take the meds and all this exhaustion wasn’t going to help out in his recovery.

Taking a spare chair from the table he finally sat down beside his son (he was getting old, sigh), “Look here Tobio, let’s clean your face hmm?” He gently cupped his son’s head in his palm, using the other hand to wipe off all the tears, snot, sweat, and saliva.

“I-I can do it-,”

“Shush, close your eyes; you’re still sick, no need to be so embarrassed,”

“I’ll bring his meds down, better take them now and then directly go to sleep; Miwa can you store away the food?”

Himari had taken it better than Kaito had expected. After everything that had happened in the past few days, he had expected an explosive reaction out of her. But this was…small mercies, maybe.

He heard Miwa move around behind him, dragging herself out of her chair and doing the work she was assigned; it wasn’t like any of them had the appetite anymore to continue eating.

The car thing though: Kaito was worried, fearful. After all that their son had said today the possible answer he had come up for himself for that certain incident; he was scared. Cowardly enough, he didn’t want a verbal confirmation of- of- _that._ He was aware, objectively, that the more they knew, the more Tobio felt okay sharing, the better for all of them.

But the part of him that was living in denial…it didn’t wish to be confronted with those difficult feelings, the dark reality.

Plus, Tobio looked as if he was going to fall asleep any second now, making him address another deep, hurtful thing he physically didn’t look comfortable talking about…Kaito didn’t feel tonight was the time. He would still be sharing his thoughts with his wife and daughter, he wanted them to be vigilant, for the lack of a better word.

One moment of ignorance, one misstep and they could possibly lose Tobio, forever.

_Forever._

“Come here,”

He pulled his son in a hug, held him against his chest, safe. It had been too long, Kaito hadn’t realized till now how badly he himself needed this. It had been literal _years_ since he had last properly spent some time with his kids.

“None of us could or would ever hate you, hmm? Never, you hear me?”

“…Really? Even after I lied all this time?”

“Nothing can make us hate you Tobio, nothing.”

Tobio only nodded, silent aside from his post-crying hiccups.

Kaito had really needed this.

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> Shouyo :O <

Shouyo :O: Kageyama

Shouyo :O: yamayama-kun

Shouyo :O: Im sorry

Shouyo :O: Im really really sorry

Shouyo :O: I miss you a lot

Shouyo :O: you are my bestbud and I

Shouyo :O: im so sorry

Shouyo :O: give me any punishment you want ill taek it but please beliv me

Shouyo :O: im really so so sorry nothing is the same without you

Shouyo :O: get better soon

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Putting his phone away, Shouyou rolled over on his bed. He really missed Kageyama.

Others might think Kageyama was only interested in volleyball, not so fun 24/7. But Shouyou had the rare opportunity to spend a substantial amount of time with the other boy, was welcomed to spectate the side of the setter others don’t get to.

Kageyama was a fun person to be with, period. He was silent, a bit uncharacteristically hesitant, and even a bit shyer than what his persona on court led people to believe. And Shouyou enjoyed that, he missed spending quality time with the other, reading manga together, watching movies, gaming. He especially missed having his sturdy, reliant presence.

Whenever he was with Kageyama, he felt safe. He felt like he had someone looking out for him, always there, a reliable source of comfort.

Now that was gone, _he_ was gone, and Shouyou had only himself to hold accountable. The kind counselor had told him it wasn’t so, that he wasn’t to blame, but Shouyou disagreed.

He could only hope that the other won’t completely block him off. He knew that Kageyama won’t, he was way too kind and thoughtful for that, but still, Shouyou won’t blame him if he did, even if he hoped for the opposite.

Ever since the camp, he had been constantly in the fear of having indirectly stolen the life of his proclaimed best friend. Now that he was back, the guilt was weirdly doubling up rather than what one would expect from the progression of the scenarios.

The longer Shouyou went without apologizing, without admitting his guilt, his fault, the more he felt like his mind was going to implode any second. So he did. It didn’t feel proper, doing it via chat, and he was aware this was more to soothe his own heart, but he wanted to do it the proper way.

He had half the mind to go and visit him and he would’ve if not for his mother sitting him down, having a long conversation on how that might not actually be appreciated at the time. Kageyama’s family...they must be going through a tough time and him going there while Kageyama, who is recovering, probably doesn’t even want to see Shouyou’s face; him being there will only create more troubles for them.

He had already done enough of that.

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But he really did miss his best bud…

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise  
> have a stack of shit  
> i cant ughhh I DUNNO HOW TO WRITE WHAT I HAVE IN MY HEADDD  
> idk how to describe the sheer emotions i imagined in my head ooof so hard  
> enjoy  
> thank you for all the comments, kudos and love TuT they keep me going ahhhhhhh


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